


The Universe Loves Stubborn Hearts

by freudchicken



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: F/F, Lesbian Weddings, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, just trixie and katya being dumb, katya’s 33, trixie’s 25
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:42:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 28,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25760791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freudchicken/pseuds/freudchicken
Summary: Trixie’s a successful 25 year old music producer. She loves her job, really. However, nobody’s life is perfect, and she gets lonely sometimes, even if she’s afraid of commitment.Katya’s a 33 year old artist and an heiress to a well-known hotel business. She’s tired of people taking advantage of her kindness and her love.You know the rest.
Relationships: Shea Couleé/Sasha Velour, Trixie Mattel/Katya Zamolodchikova
Comments: 28
Kudos: 58





	1. you caught me off guard

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! It’s my first fic after a very long time, so please be kind :) haha. I just wanted to take a break from all of the serious work stuff that I’m doing.
> 
> As always, comments are appreciated :) Hope you enjoy!

**_shea brulee_ **

_ (picture of her smiling with puffy eyes while showing off her princess cut diamond ring) _

_ GUESS WHO’S GONNA BE MRS. SASHA VELOUR!! _

  
  


Trixie stared at their group chat with wide eyes. She could not believe Shea when she announced that she’s engaged to Sasha. She wasn’t really against their relationship. In fact, she really loves them both and she thinks they’re meant to be together because Sasha’s art genius complements Shea’s amazing eye for fashion and how they’re both a bunch of dorks after a few glasses of wine. She couldn’t believe it because she knows Shea hates commitment, and it all changed because of dear Sasha. Shea’s never been the one to go past the first date or a one night stand. She also thinks that her friendship with Trixie, Kim, and Bob is the only commitment she’ll ever be in. 

Trixie’s a 25 year old freelance music producer who occasionally teams up with Alaska and Bob, two of the most successful and not to mention award winning female music producers. Independently, she’s amazing as is, but her work with Bob and Alaska is a different kind of magic. She works long hours and she’s fine with it because music is her passion and this is helping her get closer to her dream job. She loves what she does, honestly. But sometimes she misses having someone to come home to after a particularly rough day or when she’s feeling a little bit lonely. She misses being held and soothed when her anxiety kicks in, and being told that it’s okay to not be strong all the time. However, she’s not missing the fights, the jealousy, and the pain that comes with dating the wrong person. Trixie has had her fair share of dating horror stories, and she’s not gonna subject herself into something like that anymore.

As Trixie was in the middle of putting on her foundation, she thought about what her future’s going to be like. “I want a wife who will let me know when I’m wrong, and will call me out with a caring voice,” she thought. “I also want someone who understands that I may have a hard time adjusting to being someone’s girlfriend after being single for too long, and who would help me through it all. I also do know that she’s never gonna come, and I’m being too much of a hopeless romantic right now which isn’t exactly good for me.” She rolled her eyes at herself.

In the middle of Trixie’s eyebrow routine, she gets a message from Shea.

**_Shea_ **

_ Trixie, can you come over to Dela’s now? I wanna tell you something very important _

**_Trixie_ **

_ Sure, be there in ten _

**_Shea_ **

_ Ten minutes? Or ten hours? Let me know so that I could bring a blanket and a pillow with me. _

Trixie cackles. Her friend knows her too well.

**_Trixie_ **

_ TEN MINUTES, BITCH! I’m just fixing my eyebrows _

Trixie sets down her phone and continues doing her makeup. She settles for a more natural looking face but manages to put on the brightest pink lipstick she has. She finally finishes her makeup with setting spray and dashes to the door. She chose to wear a simple light pink sundress with a brown belt to accentuate her waist paired with her strappy sandals. She doesn’t need to dress up, but she loves looking good any chance she gets.

By the time that she arrived at Dela’s, their most favorite cafe in the world, she saw Shea sitting by their spot that’s closest to the window. Trixie couldn’t help but smile when she remembers how their friendship started there when they were in their second year at uni, and how they were just silently sharing the table when Shea asked Trixie where she got her cool laptop stickers. They were inseparable since.

“Finally! Look who decided to show up!” Shea rolls her eyes playfully as she sits down. 

Trixie scoffed and took a bite off Shea’s blueberry cupcake. “I told you, Shea, that being punctual isn’t one of my most redeeming qualities, that's why I decided to go freelance, right?” She says while chewing the rest of Shea’s cupcake (that’s now hers). “Besides, I won’t be late to your wedding or whatever.” Trixie smiles.

“First of all, you’re gross. Second, that would be great, because I want you to be my maid of honor,” Shea said earnestly. “I don’t want to be scrambling around my wedding being bridezilla without you by my side.” Shea says while handing her a small, pink box. 

Trixie immediately tears up and manages to choke a teary “of course I will be your maid of honor, you idiot!” to Shea. She immediately enveloped Shea into a very tight hug while crying. 

Shea has been there for Trixie whenever she needed her, and so was she for her. They’ve been very supportive of each other when they each wanted to pursue their dream jobs, even if it meant putting their friendship into the backseat for a bit. They nursed each other’s hangovers and heartbreaks while also cheering each other on as hard when taking shots and when they’ve achieved something they really wanted badly, so it’s a no-brainer that she would be the maid of honor for her best friend’s wedding. They really didn’t care if people thought they were weird for being so overly emotional at 10 am. This was their moment.

As soon as Trixie and Shea wiped their tears away from their overly dramatic moment, Trixie opened the pink box that was handed to her earlier. Her eyes widen when she sees a shiny, gold necklace with a baby hand that's supposed to be the pendant. Trixie takes the necklace out of the box and examines it carefully.

"Shea, this is really thoughtful, but I don't understand it." Trixie grimaces. At this point in their friendship, she really didn’t have to be THAT polite when she knew something wasn’t right, or if something wasn’t nice. 

Shea smiles sheepishly and takes back the pink box and the necklace. "Oops, I think Sasha and I made a mistake. Yours was supposed to be a golden guitar pendant. That was meant for her maid of honor."

Trixie laughs and Shea continued on talking about all the gifts they curated for their friends who are going to be part of the wedding. She mentioned that the baby hand necklace was supposed to be for Sasha's Russian friend, Katya, who was interesting, to say the least. Naturally, Trixie wanted to check out this kooky character, so she asked her friend to show her Katya’s instagram account. Her eyes immediately zeroed on Katya’s most recent post, wherein she’s wearing a Vivienne Tam Mao dress paired with cigarette earrings and a red lip. It’s so wrong, but it’s so right.

As she scrolled down further on Katya’s instagram, she noticed that her captions are all Russian (thanks, Google Translate) and are filled with unrelated emojis. “Shea, where did Sasha meet Katya again?” she asked.

Shea scratched her forehead a bit. “I think they met in college because they were both fine arts majors,” she said. "I couldn't even say her name properly! All I could hear was Katya Zamosomething. I just let Sasha fill in for me when we talk about her. But she’s really nice and I think you can already tell that she’s very beautiful." she winked.

“Yeah, she really is,” Trixie smiled to the screen.

Shea cocked an eyebrow at her. “You’re interested in her? You said you didn’t wanna commit to anyone anymore because you want to be a fucking free bird.” 

“First of all, Shea, I only said she was pretty and-“ 

“No, you agreed when I said that she’s beautiful.” Shea interrupted.

“Right. Yeah, whatever. Anyway, just because I agreed with you on that, doesn’t mean that I want to commit to her. It’s just a harmless crush, that’s all.” Trixie said defensively.

“Alright, fine,” Shea shrugs. “you know I’m just looking out for you, Trix. I know you’ve been badly hurt before, so I get that you’re being cautious. It’s okay to guard your heart, but don’t baby it too much.” Trixie puts her hand over Shea’s and squeezes it lightly. She doesn’t know what to say to her, but she hopes that Shea knows how much she means to her.

“The only thing that I should be wary about right now is her knife collection,” Trixie shows her phone to her. “Holy shit. This knife’s handle is filled with eyeballs, Shea.”

“Girl, I saw her collection and it was such a wild ride! Sasha told me that Katya handmakes all of the handles and sources the blades from a Japanese guy in her apartment complex. She’s fucking cool.” 

Shea and Trixie talk about Katya a bit more after that. She learned that the Russian lady was really funny, has a weird sense of humor, and is a fan of Russian pop music.

“Of course she’s a fan of LOBODA,” Trixie laughs. “I saw her insta story.”

“Trixie, you do know that Katya can see who viewed her insta stories, right?” Shea inquired carefully. She knew sometimes Trixie can be dumb like that.

Trixie looked at her with wide eyes. “Holy shit, Shea!” She exclaimed. “How am I this dumb?! What am I going to do? How will I face her on you bachelorette party with dignity? Shea, help me!!!” 

Shea was laughing really hard at her friend’s dramatics. “My god, Trixie, you’re gonna kill me,” she wiped her tears with her finger. “You are such a drama queen! Katya has three thousand followers on instagram. I’m pretty sure she won’t notice or she wouldn’t care if you viewed her stories.” She offered.

  
  


***

When Trixie came home that night, she defintely knew that she was intrigued by Katya and wanted to know her better. The way Shea talked about her made her smile because she has never met somebody like her who is eccentric, but charming. Based on what she's heard, of course. She can't wait to meet her in person and see if she's really that pretty.

After finishing her night time skincare routine, she opens her group chat with her friends to check if there's anything worth responding to.

**_kimberly jong un_ **

_ Shea, please tell me this wedding will be artsy and high fashion.  _

_ If it's not I will totally be disappointed. _

**_shea brulee_ **

_ (grinning emoji) _

_ BITCH, YOU WILL GAG. _

_ Sasha got Katya and Violet to make some decors for us, which will totally translate to weird, bold, but high fashion _

**_roberta_ **

_ I also would love it if you would have an open bar that has unlimited booze _

_ btw, brianna agreed to come to the wedding _

**_tracy martel_ **

_ guys, go to bed _

**_shea brulee_ **

**_@roberta_** _yayyyy she's coming!!! i'm so excited : ) and of course the bar will have unlimited FREE booze!_ **[roberta liked this message]**

**_@tracy martel_ ** _ do you still have that swimsuit you wore when we went to hawaii? _

_ also… for my bachelorette party this weekend, we'll be going to Zamo's island.  _

**_kimberly jong un_ **

_ i’m so excited!!!! i’m gonna go shopping for sunblock and waterproof makeup spray and maybe go grab some chipotle _

**_tracy martel_ **

_ an island owner? Honey, I’m in love already! _

_ & YES, I STILL HAVE IT _

**_shea brulee_ **

_ ahuh, so pack that bikini you wore on hawaii and show her what she’s been missing out on all her life! (laughing emoji, tongue out emoji) _

**_kimberly jong un_ **

_ YOU DIDN’T TELL US YOU HAVE A THING FOR SASHA’S FRIEND??? _

  
  


She didn't. She’s just interested because she has those beautiful blue eyes that would turn green in the right light. She also didn’t really care for the Russian’s golden locks that’s cut in a face framing choppy bob. No, she also didn’t think about her full, red lips that looks so soft when you kiss it. She didn’t think of her in any weird way. She would never.

She immediately closed the group chat so that she wouldn’t get bombarded by teasing messages from her friends. She tries looking for more info about Katya, so she types “Sasha Velour and Katya Zamo” on Google and she stumbles upon an article about two years ago where Sasha and Katya were pictured together in an art exhibit. She carefully studies the picture and sees Katya’s name -  _ Yekaterina Petrovna Zamolodchikova. _

“Interesting,” she says. She thinks Katya looks very beautiful with her short, blonde choppy bob with fringe that's decorated with eyeball clips. Trixie noticed that Katya's a little taller than Sasha and in this particular photo, she's wearing a red bustier jumpsuit decorated with more eyeballs. As she scrolled down further, she saw some of the Russian’s artworks - most of them are abstract, and she noticed that there’s at least one eyeball in every work that’s hung in the gallery.

"She must really love eyeballs." Trixie muttered to herself. She locks her phone and turns to her side. She can't wait for Shea's bachelorette party because she wants to ask Katya the meaning behind her artwork.

\---


	2. just trust me on this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trixie’s a successful 25 year old music producer. She loves her job, really. However, nobody’s life is perfect, and she gets lonely sometimes, even if she’s afraid of commitment.
> 
> Katya’s a 33 year old artist and an heiress to a well-known hotel business. She’s tired of people taking advantage of her kindness and her love.
> 
> You know the rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> I'm super duper thankful for all the kudos, hits, and bookmarks that I've received for chapter 1!!! It really warmed my heart!! 🥰 I changed the chapter number to like 5 chapters first because I think that’s a safe number to start with lmao. With that being said, here’s the second chapter published a few days earlier than intended!! It’s my way of saying thanks 😊 
> 
> Warning: this is a bit longer than the previous chapter and has some flashbacks involved. Hopefully you guys like my word vomit (lmao). I'm working on Chapter 3 as we speak, and I hope my work improves a bit more. 😅 The last fanfic I've written was about... 8 or 9 years ago. I know, it’s been too long!
> 
> Also, this has not been proofread by anyone, so please excuse my mistakes. Hahahaha
> 
> With all that being said, enjoy and let me know in the comments what you think! 🥰

  
  


Katya woke up with a dull headache after a particularly stressful day before. She volunteered herself and dragged Violet with her to help out with Sasha’s wedding decorations, so that meant finding the right suppliers and meeting with them to get every single detail perfect. On her own, she might have been a little bit lenient, but she remembered that she sought Violet’s help for this. Somewhere in the middle of their meeting with the wedding invitation suppliers, she regretted being with Violet as she didn’t stop until she found the perfect shade of blue. She decided to pull Violet aside to talk some sense to her.

“Vi, what the fuck?” Katya raised an eyebrow at her. “Why are you giving these people such a hard time? They said they could source the color you’re looking for and give it to us next week, so what’s the problem?”

“I just don’t want to let Sasha down,” Violet said, clearly irritated by the lack of color options. “She deserves the best. She deserves the perfect wedding decorations. I don’t want this wedding to be anything less than perfect.” 

“Vi, nothing will ever be less than perfect when you do something because you are literally the most anal person I know,” Katya scoffs and squeezed her shoulder. “I know you like anal, but this is a different kind of anal.” Violet flips the bird at her.

Katya dragged herself out of her bed to her bathroom. She immediately took painkillers and washed her face. She studied herself in the mirror and saw some of the traces of mascara that were left from her haphazard makeup removal last night. She noticed that she looks really tired from the darkening bags under her eyes and her generally sallow complexion.

“I’ve got to take better care of myself,” she thought. “I look like a mess right now.”

As she was getting ready for her trip to the mall to grab some skincare products, she decided to scroll through her instagram feed. Honestly, she just wanted to get some skincare ideas from Blair, the beauty vlogger she follows religiously. She is very jealous of the 23 year old girl’s skin because she had what the kids call “glass skin” and rosy cheeks. Katya is thinking of all the products she could buy later on to try to emulate the vlogger’s skin texture. 

Katya knew it wasn’t going to work like that on her. No, she’s not in denial of her age - 33 is a wonderful age, and she doesn’t mind the crow’s feet that are appearing beside her eyes, or the lines that are appearing on her forehead. She knows botox exists, but truth be told, she just wants to feel really taken care of, or even desirable. She can’t even remember the last time she felt sexy in her “normal” state. She’s thinking about all the possibilities when she decides to start dating again. What if she’s not hot enough anymore? What if her date thinks she’s too old and decides to ghost her last minute? What if she doesn’t have “it” anymore?

She trashes her plans to go to the mall and instead facetimes her friend Sasha. Calling her bald friend might be good for her because she always knew what to say. Sasha picked up on the second ring.

“Hi Katya,” Sasha greeted her with a wide smile. She’s always been a ray of sunshine in Katya’s life, especially when Katya is struggling with her insecurities and her anxiety. She considers her as her voice of reason and her older sister, even if her bald friend is technically three years younger than her.

“Sasha, do you think I’m too old?” Katya asks her while worrying her lip. “I feel like I’m not beautiful anymore.” 

“What? Who told you that?” Her friend’s brows furrowed. “You are never too old for anything, and you are beautiful.” She added.

Katya sighed deeply. “Nobody. I looked at myself in the mirror earlier and I saw how dull my skin looked and how tired I actually look. I feel so ugly, Sasha. All of the stress from managing hotels has taken a toll on me,” she rubbed her temple. “I don’t feel like myself anymore. I just wanna go back to making art and letting my siblings run this business.”

Katya took over the business two years ago and hasn’t taken a break since. Her older brother, Joseph, stepped down from his role in the company because he was starting a family and now he left Katya with a lot of responsibility on her hands, together with their younger sister, Nastya. Naturally, she had to take on more of the responsibility as her sister is a bit younger than her, and needed more guidance in juggling all of the locations all by herself. Her sister also expressed great interest in this business, that’s why she’s finishing her master’s degree in hospitality management. The sooner Nastya finishes her degree, the sooner she gets to handle less responsibilities.

“Listen, Katya, I know this is hard and super frustrating for you because your life changed overnight without being asked if this is all okay with you,” Sasha soothed. “You know you’re one of the most selfless people on the planet, right? You have such a big heart in you. You could have said no to your brother and let him train Nats all by himself while you focus on your art, but you didn’t. You helped him out and made sure that your niece grows up with a present father by her side. I think that’s pretty amazing.”

Katya didn’t realize that there were tears falling down on her face while she was listening intently to Sasha’s speech about her being selfless and wonderful for the nth time. “Sasha, I just want to do something really nice for myself once. I feel like I’m not allowed to take breaks because the business might fail without me constantly monitoring it. I feel like I will let mom and dad down if I don’t always bring my A game and if I don’t push myself to work harder. I am so scared of relaxing and taking a break because I don’t want to fail my parents and drive their business to the ground.”

“Your parents have been bugging you to take a well-deserved break for quite some time now. They literally messaged me the other day to remind you to take your month-long break,” Sasha replied. “Even machines take breaks before they get overworked. You should too.” 

Katya finally let go of the big breath she didn’t know she was holding. Sasha’s right. She’s always right. She should be easier on herself because she’s working herself to the bone and she’s noticed that her migraines occur more often than before. 

“You’re right, Sasha. I should listen to you more often,” she let out a soft chuckle. “ I love you. Thank you for looking out for me all the time. I don’t know what I would do without you.” Katya says earnestly.

“It’s no problem, Kat,” Sasha replies. “We’re supposed to look out after each other, right? You’re family to me. You’ll always have me. You also know that I love you dearly.” 

“Eww, feelings,” Katya gags and lets out a wheezy laugh. Sasha then affectionately rolls her eyes at her. She knew it was Katya’s own way of reciprocating her affection.

“So, baldy,” she continues. “You mentioned that in your bachelorette party, Shea will also be bringing her friends to the island?” 

She nods at the statement. “Yeah, and I think we’ll all be coming there this weekend together. I think Violet and Alaska will be bringing their cars so that gives us a lot of room for us and our stuff. Shea also asked-”

“Sasha, I can’t believe you’ll be married soon,” Katya interrupted her mid-sentence. “Do you remember when I became your wingwoman the night we met Shea? You guys have been inseparable since.” She chuckled.

“Of course, how could I forget that night? I literally met the love of my life at Alaska’s party and you made sure to make _us_ happen.” 

**_Three years ago_ **

_“Come on, Sasha! We’re going to be late to Alaska’s party! You know how irritated she gets when we’re late to her party!” Katya shouted from Sasha’s living room._

_One of her dearest friends, Alaska, has just successfully launched her passion project today. She and her friend, Willam launched their first (and only) collection of women’s apparel in celebration of Women’s History Month. They made sure to cater to all women, and employed all women for this project. She also made sure that 40% of the proceeds will be going to various women’s shelters and charities across America. Alaska mentioned to them that it was one of her biggest dreams, that’s why she is so excited to finally see this come to life._

_“I’m sorry! I misplaced my other velour dress. I wanted to wear that to Lasky’s party, but now I’m stuck with this.” Sasha sighed. She is wearing a red, satin, long sleeved off-shoulder top with a black pair of wide legged pants and chunky, ankle strap heels. Katya, on the other hand, is wearing a simple white sleeveless top that Sasha hand painted Frida Kahlo to, paired with a tight, black leather skirt, and her favorite pair of black Valentino rockstud heels. She didn’t want to highlight anything else other than Sasha’s artwork on her body._

_Katya looked at her from head to toe and placed her hand on Sasha’s left shoulder. “You look great, Sash. I swear. It’s a different look from what you’re used to, but it’s a good kind of different.” She smiled at her, showing her perfectly straight, white teeth. “Relax.”_

_When they arrived at Perestroika’s main location at Fifth Avenue, Katya was greeted by her lovely staff with a huge smile._

_“Madame Katya, Madame Sasha, you’re just in time,” The hotel’s general manager said while opening the door to the private function hall for them. “How are you both doing? You both look so stunning tonight.”_

_“Darlene, it’s just Katya and Sasha for tonight,” Katya chuckles. “ Save the formalities for when mama and papa are here.” She winked at her while Sasha smiled at the older lady._

_“Yeah, Darlene. Don’t make us seem older than we actually are,” Sasha nudges her and she smiles. Out of all the staff members in Perestroika, Darlene is the one who has worked for them since the beginning and has witnessed all the highs and lows of the business, and not to mention Joseph, Katya, and Nastya’s growth. She considers her as a part of her family, and the keeper of her secrets._

_As they threaded their way through the crowd, they spotted Alaska and Willam sitting on a couch located at the farthest end of the room. They were talking animatedly with a girl who’s wearing a beautiful, red, off shoulder dress made of tulle and silk that just dangerously stops at the tops of her thighs, showing off her beautiful, deep complexion. She wondered why Sasha suddenly stopped walking midway through. When she looked at her friend, she noticed that her friend couldn’t keep her eyes off the mystery woman._

_“Sasha,” She tapped her friend’s shoulder._

_“Hmm?” Sasha answered her, not even moving her head to look at her._

_“You’re drooling,” She motioned to wipe the corner of Sasha’s mouth, but her friend swatted her hand away and faced her. “Stop looking at her like that, you creep.” She tried to stifle her laugh, but she was unsuccessful because she already caught her friend blushing._

_“Katya, go easy on me. I haven’t been this attracted to someone at first sight in a long while” She smiled sheepishly. She tried to sound unaffected by her friend’s teasing expressions to no avail. She huffed a breath and squeezed her wrist._

_“I’m just teasing you, kisa. Don’t worry, I promise to be on my best behavior when you talk to her later.” She winked._

_As they were nearing the couch where her friends were at,_ _their conversation was interrupted by Willam calling them from a distance._

_“Katya! Sasha! Come over here!”_

_They immediately went up to the couch and enveloped both Alaska and Willam in a really tight hug. They missed their friends so much because they’ve been really busy with this collection. She is so proud of her friends, that’s why she kind of felt her eyes getting misty._

_“I thought you hated feelings, Zamo? Why are you getting so emotional?” Alaska teased while pulling back from her embrace._

_Katya rolled her eyes playfully at her. “I hate you, you sneaky snake. You know that, right?” She pulled her friend closer by her waist and placed her head on Alaska’s bony shoulder. “I’m so proud of you and I love you so much. I hate feelings, but I can’t help but say it out loud.” Alaska kissed the top of her head to let her know that she appreciates her friend._

_“What about me? Aren’t you proud of me? I did like 50% of the work here,” Willam went over to the two ladies who were sharing a cute moment. She sat between them and placed her arms over the both of them and whispered, “By the way, I saw Sasha looking at Shea earlier. If she thinks she’s slick, I have some bad news for her.”_

_Katya laughed at Willam’s observation. Of course Willam would notice. I mean everyone would notice if Sasha looked at them as if they were an angel sent from above. “Willam, go easy on Sasha. You know she’s never been this whipped before. I’m not sure she has been like this ever,” she paused and looked around. “Speaking of baldy, where is she?”_

_“Oh! She’s there at the bar!” Alaska chimed in. There she saw her friend sitting at the bar and she thinks she’s talking to herself (She saw her mouth moving and that’s one of the telltale signs that Sasha’s overthinking something). “Hold on a sec, I’m gonna go talk to her.” She quickly got off the sofa and practically brisk walked to her friend._

_“Baldy, I know you’re talking to yourself again,” She started. “We could hear you thinking from across the room.”_

_“Yeah,” Sasha took a long sip of her vodka soda. “I’m kinda nervous about talking to her. What if she thinks I’m weird?” She sighed._

_“She won’t think you’re weird!” Katya replied quickly and a bit too loudly. Sasha winced at her friend’s volume. “She won’t. Do you want me to talk to her for you?”_

_“I-“_

_“Yeah, I’ll go talk to her for you.” She didn’t waste any more time and looked for Shea. She knew Sasha wouldn’t do anything about her little crush, so she had to help her out a bit. Once she found Shea sitting alone at the balcony, she knew that was her chance._

_“Hi,” she said while sitting beside Shea. She looked a little surprised to see her there, but relaxed a bit once she knew that it’s an actual person beside her, not a ghost. “You’re Shea, right?”_

_“Yup, the one and only,” she beamed. “My name is Shea Couleé and I’m one of the designers from Alaska and Willam’s collection. I’m guessing you’re Katya? Or Sasha?” She chuckled. “Alaska and Willam told me a lot of good things about the both of you.”_

_“I’m Yekaterina Petrovna Zamolodchikova, but you can call me Katya.” She smiled and extended her hand to the lady beside her and she shook her hand. “My friend’s name is Sasha, you know, the-“_

_“The bald one? Yeah, she’s cute.” She smiled awkwardly. “I came up here because I was trying to think of a way to start a conversation with her, and there you are.”_

_She shook her head in disbelief. “Why didn’t you talk to her earlier while the three of us were too busy hugging each other? We already gave you an opportunity to do so earlier.”_

_Shea faced her fully and looked at her dead in the eye. “I know! Well I was supposed to, but she looked a little uncomfortable with just the two of us sitting there alone and she just smiled at me and went to the bar,” She huffed a small breath. “I felt like she didn’t like me at all.”_

_Katya muttered “fucking Sasha” under her breath while Shea was recalling her experience with her bald friend earlier. Of course she chickened out, she thought. She really likes this girl. Katya knew exactly what she had to do._

_“First of all, I apologize for my friend’s awkwardness. She’s really smart, but she’s not really good at dealing with people that she finds attractive,” Katya made sure to emphasize that last part about Sasha. She then caught the lady blushing because of her last statement._

_“Second, Shea,” she continued. “I know exactly what to do to get you two to talk.” Katya smirked and placed her chin above her two hands. “You need to stay put here, alright? Wait a sec.”_

_“What are you going to do?” Shea asked carefully._

_Katya immediately dialled her friend’s number on her phone. Sasha picked up on the first ring._

_“Baldy,” she fake coughed. “I don’t feel so good. Where are you?” She looked at Shea and the lady mouthed, “What the fuck are you doing?” to her._

_“Just trust me on this one,” she mouthed back. Katya knew that when she pulled the “I’m not feeling good” card on Sasha, she wouldn't say no to her._

_“What? Where are you? Are you okay?” She tried her best to hold back her laughter when she heard the concern in her friend’s voice. She would apologize to her after this for making her worry, but I’m sure she wouldn’t have to after what she’ll be pulling tonight._

_“I’m sitting alone on the balcony. Come over here and bring a mojito. I think I want a mojito.” She immediately ended the call after that so her friend wouldn’t question her about her odd request. Shea almost choked on her mojito because of the ridiculousness that Katya was trying to pull off._

_“I don’t think that will work, Katya.” She laughed heartily once she knew it was safe._

_“I know it will.” She said to her while sipping her drink._

_A few moments later, Sasha busted through the door, looking a little flushed, while holding a mojito in her left hand. “I came here as fast as I… could.”_

_Sasha was shocked to see Katya and Shea sitting beside each other, but she was more shocked at the fact that Katya was well and not dying._

_“See,” she faced Shea. “I told you it will work.” She smirked._

_“What? I don’t understand what’s going on.” Sasha said with curiosity painting her face._

_Katya got off her chair and went to where her friend was standing and placed both of her hands on her shoulder. “You will.” Sasha faced her and she took her by the arm and let her friend drag her to where she was previously seated before. “You’ll also thank me for this.”_

_“But Katya,” She protested._

_“No buts!” Katya said firmly. “Unless you’re into butt stuff, then by all means go for it.” She snickered at her lame joke. “By the way, the mojito’s for you, Shea.” She winked at the lady who’s clearly confused with what’s going on._

_As she made her way to the door, she looked back at them and said, “You know, you’ll both thank me for this someday.”_

_They did._


	3. the stars finally aligned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trixie’s a successful 25 year old music producer. She loves her job, really. However, nobody’s life is perfect, and she gets lonely sometimes, even if she’s afraid of commitment.
> 
> Katya’s a 33 year old artist and an heiress to a well-known hotel business. She’s tired of people taking advantage of her kindness and her love.
> 
> You know the rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> Thank you for patiently waiting for my update! The past couple of weeks has taken a toll on my mental health, but I’m doing okay :) Remember to always check on your loved ones and tell them you love them whenever you can ❤️ Also, this isn’t proofread by anyone so I apologize for the mistakes. 
> 
> Love you guys! Thank you for still supporting this, Comments are greatly appreciated 💕

It was the day before their intended weekend getaway, and Trixie was getting anxious about the whole bridal shower thing. She feels so unprepared even though she already ticked off all the things on her to do and to buy lists. Something isn’t sitting well with her and she can’t put a finger on it. She double checked her list of things to bring: five outfits for the whole trip (excluding her nighties because duh, you can never be too prepared for anything), four pairs of shoes (her pair of nude Valentino rockstud flats, her flip flops for the beach, her favorite Gucci Marmont ankle-wrap platform shoes, and an emergency pair of pink Manolo Blahniks because you never know when you’ll be needing them, am I right?), and two pairs of swimsuits (her pink, pineapple print halter one piece and her lacy white two piece swimsuit that Shea asked her to bring). Trixie tried to distract herself by putting on Dolly’s Backwoods Barbie album while getting started on her lunch. She hummed softly while chopping garlic and started to relax her tense shoulders a bit. She couldn’t understand why she’s suddenly feeling so anxious about this whole ordeal. Trixie is always confident, calm, cool, and calculated. She never gets flustered or nervous, so her feelings baffle her. 

As she finished cooking her “chicken” nuggets (she used cauliflower), she sat down to eat at her dining table. She picked on her food a bit until she realized that it was kind of sad for her to eat alone, so she shot a quick text to Kim asking her if she could accompany her to eat lunch via facetime. Not even a minute after sending the text, Kim immediately called her.

“Trixie, why are you sad?” Kim asked her with a worried expression in her face. Kim never looks like that, she thought.

“Kim, I just wanted to eat lunch with you,” she replied with an awkward smile. Kim raised an eyebrow at her. “Okay, fine. I kinda felt lonely here and I figured I needed some company.”

Her friend pursed her lips together. “Okay, Trixie. Whatever you say,” She raises her burrito bowl at her. “I’m eating chipotle.” Trixie chuckled at her friend’s ability to let go of the topic quickly. They were eating in silence for a while when Trixie started to feel uneasy again about the situation.

“I’m really anxious about this trip, Kim,” she says in between bites. “I never get anxious. You know that.” Her friend nods in agreement.

“I think you’re anxious because there are a few people there whom you haven’t met yet, and you’re thinking about their reaction to you as a person and your aesthetic,” Kim offered. “I know you’re very protective of your style and your preferences, and that’s okay,” she set down her burrito bowl. “All that matters is what you think about yourself.”

“I know, Kim. I just…” she struggled to finish her sentence. She really didn’t know what to say.

Trixie struggled a lot with her identity and her real aesthetic growing up in a radical Christian household. It didn’t help that her stepdad was the head pastor of her small town, so obviously she’s under scrutiny by everyone. She didn’t have a problem with that during her childhood, but when she reached high school, she started getting conscious about how she looked and how she would date when everyone’s watching her every single move. It didn’t help that she didn’t have a lot of friends outside of her church group (and even her church friends weren’t that trustworthy).

When Trixie wanted to dress up in short dresses and high heels, her mother insisted that it was a bad idea and it wasn’t God honoring in any way. As they were arguing about how Trixie’s idea of fashion and style was promiscuous, her stepdad walked in on them and slapped her across the face, saying that her thoughts are immoral and is considered the work of the devil.

_“Until you’re living in this household, you will live by our rules! No devil worshipping acts are allowed here! Do you understand me, Beatrice? We will not tolerate any devil worshipping here!_

She left her house as soon as she graduated high school and moved to New York with her friend, Max. They struggled, but they were free to live as they please. They lived a life that was right on their own terms. Trixie has never felt so alive and most importantly, her most authentic self.

“I get how you feel. It’s valid. Don’t be ashamed of that. Don’t feel ashamed of who you are, Trix. You’ve grown so much, and you’re not the same girl from your small town. Trixie Mattel is so much more than that.” Kim said earnestly. Trixie offered her a smile that says “I’m feeling better now”. They finished their meals in comfortable silence until Kim **finally** opened up about the girl she met on Bumble.

***

Katya was in the middle of her at-home yoga session when her phone lit up and showed a notification that someone liked a photo of hers on instagram. She immediately looked at her phone and saw _@trixiemattel8 liked your photo._ When she clicked on the notification, she was redirected to this photo of her getting drinks with Alaska and Sasha at one of the bars from their trip to Paris 328 weeks ago. When she refreshed the page, the like was gone. She really wanted to let this go because it was kind of a regular occurrence for her, but today was different. She wanted to check who this person is who keeps liking and unliking her posts.

When she clicked on _@trixiemattel8_ ’s profile, she was pleasantly surprised at her icon. It’s a woman with long blonde hair wearing a black turtleneck top and hot pink lipstick. She soon found out that her name is Trixie Mattel (like Barbie, and she looks like one), and her bio read: _skinny legend turned music producer._ She scrolled down her instagram and saw her in some pictures with Alaska, Shea, and Bob. She also recognized Kim, Violet’s friend and make up artist that she got to know through Pearl, Violet’s girlfriend. As she’s scrolling through Trixie’s instagram page, she can’t help but ask herself why hasn’t she met this girl? They definitely have a lot of mutual friendships and their lives are practically intertwined with each other. 

When she finally arrived at Trixie’s very first instagram post - a picture of her wearing a faded blue gingham shirt, dark denim overalls, and muddy boots next to a brown cow, she inspected the picture closely - it was kind of blurry, but not toaster level obviously, and she looks younger and happier in the picture by the looks of it. Her teeth are in full display and she looked like she was mid-laugh when someone took her picture. _Trixie looked so carefree then_ , she thinks. Katya would love to see her like that in real life.

She was about to lock her phone when a brilliant idea struck her. She immediately liked that picture of hers (and didn’t unlike it after), and proceeded to give Trixie’s latest post a like too. She posted a picture of her and Shea together at Dela’s with the caption: _I’m so happy for my best friend!,_ which was adorned with pink, sparkly hearts. She’s thinking of what her reaction would be at her gesture, and she was weirdly excited to see her soon.

***

Trixie slept at around 3am last night - partly because she was excited for all the fun things that the weekend getaway will bring, and partly because she knows she’ll be meeting a few new faces today. Even though she already finished her morning routine, she was still feeling sleepy. By the time Violet picked her and Kim up, she was struggling to open her eyes. Kim sat next to Violet in the front seat while Trixie opted to sit in the back to steal a few zzzs. She didn’t dress up for the trip because she knew that they would all get changed before the bridal shower started. She just opted to wear a loose rainbow tie dye shirt and black denim shorts paired with her white trainers. She was slowly lulled to sleep by Violet and Kim’s excited chatter about their favorite brands’ latest releases.

Trixie woke up an hour later feeling a little better. She relished the feeling of a good power nap and she could feel drool spilling out of her mouth. When she finally opened her eyes and decided to sit up straight to stretch, she noticed that there was somebody beside her and she was grinning. Her beautiful blue-green eyes were on her with a glint of mischief in her eyes. Trixie jumped in surprise when she saw Katya and bumped her head on the car’s ceiling. Kim looked at the rear view mirror, trying to figure out what's going on.

“Hey, are you okay?” Katya asked her with panic in her voice. “It’s just me.”

"Hi," Trixie rubbed the crown of her head while sitting up straight. "I'm fine." She smiled awkwardly at Katya who was still concerned about her little accident. She saw her drool mark on Katya's sweater and tried to dry it with a tissue. "I'm sorry for drooling on you. I didn’t mean to.” She smiled sheepishly while holding the tissue up for the other lady to see.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it,” Katya wiggled her eyebrows at her. “I’m Katya, but I think you already knew that because you always like my instagram pictures then unlike it after a while.” She tentatively extended her hand to Trixie and smiled widely, showing off her blue white teeth.

Trixie couldn’t help but turn beet red at Katya’s statement. Of course she’s not dumb. Of course Katya noticed her stalking her on instagram. So much for not getting noticed. “I’m Trixie, but I think you already knew that because you liked my first and my most recent picture on instagram,” she shook Katya’s hand and tried to stifle her grin. The other woman couldn’t help but laugh loudly at her bold statement. After a few moments of them laughing at each other’s ridiculousness, Violet finally spoke up.

“Wow, your laughs are both so ridiculous,” she scoffed. “I think you guys are meant for each other.”

“Violet, don’t be jealous cause you won’t be able to experience the glory of my pussy anymore,” Katya said jokingly. “You just lost the lottery.”

“Finally! Now I don’t have to put up with your old ass anymore!” Violet smirked knowingly at her and Katya just wheeze-laughed at her. Trixie couldn’t understand why she felt a pang of jealousy on her chest while watching the whole exchange. She waved it off and smiled awkwardly.

“You guys are so gross,” Kim deadpanned. “Good thing you’re awake now, Trixie. We’re almost at the port!” 

“Yeah, Trixie, what great timing you have,” Katya faced her fully and looked at her. Trixie squirmed a bit at her gaze. “We’ll be meeting the rest there and get transferred to the yacht. Do you get seasick?”

“Nope,” she leaned into Katya a bit. “You already know I’m a country girl, so I ain’t easy to startle.” She said to her, exaggerating her accent. Katya just laughed at her while grabbing her hand.

A few minutes later, they arrived at the port and saw Alaska, Sasha, Shea, and Bob talking near the yacht. She caught Shea’s eye and she immediately enveloped her into a very tight hug. When she pulled away from the hug, Shea told her that Brianna couldn’t attend because she was sick, but asked Bob to give them a bottle of Dom Perignon rosé and a huge charcuterie board. She said that Brianna hopes that it would be a good enough apology for missing their bridal shower. She tells Shea that while it’s very unfortunate that she won’t be able to attend, she knows Shea won’t say no to a bottle of expensive rosé.

“I met Katya today, and she seems cool,” she started. “She didn’t get mad when I kinda drooled on her shoulder earlier.”

Shea smiled at her knowingly and wiggled her eyebrows teasingly. She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion at her friend’s gesture. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked. Her friend pointed at something and when she looked back to check, she saw Katya leaning against her luggage while talking animatedly with Alaska. Her friend stood next to her and nudged her a bit. When Alaska pointed out to Katya that they were looking at her, she immediately looked at them and smiled widely at Trixie.

“Hey, Trix! You ready?” She nodded at Katya. Shea was tickling her side during their whole interaction and when Katya faced Alaska again, she smacked her arm. 

“Stop being stupid, Shea!” she hissed at her friend. “She might see you doing that!” Of course, Shea didn’t miss the way her friend blushed at her antics. She saw Katya smiling at Trixie earlier when she wasn’t looking, then abruptly looked away when she pointed at her. If these idiots can’t put two and two together, it seems like she needs to step in and create magic for the both of them.

  
  


***

When they all got in their assigned rooms already, Trixie immediately plopped on the bed. She has a few hours before the bridal shower, but only 40 minutes until their group lunch. She initially didn’t want to change her clothes, but when she took a quick look at Perestroika’s bar and restaurant, she made up her mind that she didn’t want to be underdressed. A few minutes after her starfishing on the bed, she couldn’t help but notice that her phone’s been blown up with notifications from her friends. They were talking about what to wear to lunch, and Shea told them to "just wear something nice” with a winking emoji. Who was Trixie to deny her friend’s directions on her bridal shower weekend, right?

After freshening up and braiding her hair loosely to the side, she proceeded to rummage through her suitcase to find a nice outfit that would fit the “casual, but not so casual lunch" theme that’s going on. She decided to wear her thin, black, long sleeved turtle neck top paired with a short, blue, glittery skirt that hugs her curves beautifully when she looked in the mirror. Before going out of the room, she made sure that she let her hair out of her braid to reveal her waves, put on her platform sandals, and grabbed her tiny purse before she forgot about it.

As soon as the elevator opened its doors on the ground floor, she saw Sasha hanging out on the bench beside the door to the restaurant. When Sasha spotted her, she waved her hand at Trixie and gestured to her that she should sit beside her. When she almost reached the bench, Sasha stood up and hugged her tightly. Sasha’s hugs are always comforting and she could feel the love radiating from her friend and makes a mental note to tell Shea about her observation. When they both pulled back from the hug, Trixie appreciated her friend’s outfit - a long, white, button up dress partnered with a pair of white Birkenstocks and white gold hoops.

“Wow, it’s so weird to see you this casual, Sasha,” Trixie gestured towards her outfit. “I almost didn’t recognize you.” Trixie tried to keep herself from smiling at her widely.

Sasha let out a hearty laugh while playfully shoving Trixie’s shoulder. “Well we haven’t been on an island together with our friends, silly. I’m trying to channel a more laid-back version of Sasha that’s more… socially acceptable.” She smiled. 

“Well I’m glad that you’re exploring other outfit options, Sasha. Maybe you should try twinning with Shea, that would be a lot of fun,” she suggested. “Or maybe you should switch styles! That would be very exciting!” Trixie grabbed her friend’s arm excitedly. Sasha was on board with the idea and couldn’t wait to tell Shea about it later.

“There you guys are!” They both turned around and saw Alaska and Bob together, walking with their arms linked together. “Where’s the rest of them?” Alaska inquired while giving both of them air kisses.

“It’s good to see you, Alaska. You too, Bob,” Sasha smiled. “Shea’s with Katya because they’re asking for some help with the special menu for today’s lunch because we have vegans, vegetarians, and pescatarians.”

“You know what, why don’t we go inside and sit so that we could catch up on some stuff before we don’t say a word to each other when lunch is served? I know we’re all hungry and we won’t talk to each other before we’re halfway through our lunch.” Bob said while wiggling her eyebrows at them. As they were walking towards the restaurant, Alaska almost bumped into a huge plant because she wasn’t looking where she was going. Sasha immediately grabbed her arm and tried to stop her from falling completely. Trixie tried her best to stop laughing because the staff were looking at them a bit funny, but Bob simply told them to keep walking while failing to stifle her huge smile.

They were in the middle of a conversation about the wedding preparations when Bob spotted Violet, Kim, Shea, and Katya walking towards their table. She immediately smiled and waved at her friends while Sasha and Trixie turned around to look at their friends who were all smiles. Trixie immediately noticed that Violet was holding onto Katya’s arm while talking to Kim. In the corner of her eye, she noticed that Sasha was looking at her amusedly. Before she gave her friend a chance to say something about her unusual stare, she immediately turned around and chatted with Alaska about her friend’s plan to produce party music.

“What did we miss?” Violet asked while pulling out the seat beside Trixie. She saw Katya take the seat next to her, but she hoped that she would switch places with Violet so that they could chat a little more. “Hope you don’t mind me taking this seat, Trixie.” Violet said to her while tilting her head a bit, interrupting her daydream. She snorted and told her that it wasn’t a problem. Pleased with her response, Violet turned around and faced Bob to give her hand a squeeze.

“I almost died walking here,” Alaska said, feigning melodrama. “I almost got hit by a big fern. Good thing Sasha was there to save me.” Her friends laughed at her dramatic nature and started calming down when the food was being served.

While they were enjoying the delicious food and wine that was served to them, Kim leaned in a little closer to Trixie’s side. “I spy with my little eye… a blonde Barbie bimbo who has heart eyes for a blond weirdo and wants to stab a certain raven haired vixen.” She whispered to her friend cheekily and poked her side. Trixie slowly turned around and gave Kim a death glare. 

“You have glaucoma, Kimberly,” she whispered back to her. “This beautiful blonde Barbie does NOT have heart eyes for anyone.” She stressed.

“Who do you have heart eyes on, Trixie?” Violet asked loudly, causing all of their friend’s heads to face her. She immediately noticed Katya looking at her with an expression she couldn’t decipher.

“Miss Trixie, I didn’t know you were dating somebody right now.” Bob inquired with an eyebrow raised at her. She felt herself turn beet red over embarrassment.

“I’m not dating anyone yet.” Trixie simply said, squirming in her seat while avoiding Katya’s gaze. “I don’t have heart eyes for anyone yet.”

“Really? That’s great!” Alaska chimed in. “I have some recommendations for you, Trixie. Only if you’re interested.” She fake whispered and winked. Trixie rolled her eyes at her friend. She thinks she’s really being ridiculous right now.

“Leave her be, guys. She’ll let you know when she’s interested and up for it.” Trixie’s eyes widened when she heard Katya’s voice. She didn’t expect her to come to her defense. Not that she needed to be, of course. Katya looked at Trixie and smiled, but it almost didn’t reach her eyes. 

“You two,” Shea pointed at Katya and Trixie. “I think you look really good together.” 

“I agree with you.” Kim added. Trixie saw her and Shea elbow each other’s arms playfully in secret while trying not to giggle.

“Now that you guys mentioned it, they do really look good together.” Alaska drawled. “Don’t you agree, Roberta?” She nudged Bob, who then looked at Trixie, who was busying herself with her lemonade.

“They do. Why don’t you guys grab coffee after this so that you could get to know each other well?” Bob said nonchalantly. Trixie choked on her lemonade and Kim immediately soothed her. “Trixie, are you okay?” Kim asked and she nodded quickly.

“Somebody’s getting too excited.” Sasha said in a sing-songy voice. “I say we let them figure this one out if they really want to do this.” She added.

Trixie took a big gulp of her drink and smiled awkwardly. Was she being too transparent? Was she being too obvious? Do people really think that they look good together? Why did she take another big gulp of lemonade when she almost choked to death earlier? Whatever the case is, she was still trying to guard her heart. She didn’t want to risk getting serious feelings for Katya and then in the end, she’ll get hurt again. She didn’t want to go through that kind of hell once more, so she’ll be keeping her distance.

***

Katya really enjoyed her lunch with her friends earlier. It was one of the few times that she allowed herself to just be a friend, and not a CEO. She didn’t allow herself to pick up her phone and scroll through her emails throughout the day and just let loose. Besides, her sister asked her not to because according to her, the company wouldn’t stop working if she would relax and take the whole weekend plus Monday off. Nastya assured her that everything will be taken care of and she wouldn’t have to worry about a thing. Katya then realized that maybe she was pushing herself too hard, that’s why out of all the friends Shea and Sasha had, Trixie was the one whom she hadn’t met yet before today. She made a mental note to make an effort to become closer to her.

Things in Katya’s life hadn’t always been this hectic. She used to be a free spirit and did whatever she pleased. Her life had no definite direction, but she was happy with it. She loved making art with Sasha, going to different exhibits and shows with Violet, and also not having a set daily routine. She sacrificed a part of her freedom for her niece because she didn’t want her to grow up with a father who had little time for her. She didn’t want her to experience that kind of loneliness.

“Earth to Katya?” Bob waved a hand over her face. This caused her to jump a bit from her spot at the smoking area. “I was asking about what you think of hiring a group of wedding singers for the wedding? I want to be extra and for my gift to be memorable.”

“That sounds like an idea.” She smiled. “I discovered this group last night on Twitter called Stephanie’s Child. You know them?” 

“Do I know them? I’m friends with them!” Bob said excitedly. “I’m pretty sure they’ll be thrilled to be there when I ask them to, especially Jan. She’s always so excited. They mentioned to me that they want their music to get produced by Trixie and I really soon.” 

“I feel like Sasha and Shea will remember your gift as one of the best gifts ever.” Katya grinned at Bob. “I know my gift will be the best gift ever because I’m such a great friend.” Bob laughed incredulously at her. “You’re so stupid, Katya.”

Katya took a long drag of her cigarette. “Bob, you know what? I think it’s so weird that Trixie and I haven’t met before. We have all the mutual friends.”

“First of all, you’re both very busy career women and you both do whatever it takes to succeed. Miss thing, you’re always travelling around the world, checking out all of the hotel’s locations. No wonder you haven’t bumped into each other.” Bob said sarcastically. “Besides, the past is already done. You want to get to know her? Ask her out. You’re a big girl, you know how dating works.”

“I just wanna get to know her first. You know, as a friend.” She shrugged, “I’m not into her like that.” 

Yet.

“Right. You can’t fool me.” 

  
  


Before they all went back to their rooms, Shea suggested that they all spend the afternoon swimming at the beach to fully bask in their "much needed vacation” mode. Since everyone’s on board with the idea, Katya immediately went to the head office to speak to the hotel’s manager to let them know that they needed to set everything up before 3pm. The manager agreed and everyone was hurrying to get all of the equipment out and set up.

Once she went back outside, the salty air hit her face and made her feel relaxed and warm. The weather was very apt for a nice dip, and she knows that the water isn’t too hot this time around. She felt like the universe was trying to tell her that she needed to take a break from all the work that she’s been doing, and slow down for a bit to help her become more refreshed. After all, she’ll be back to reality in just a few days, so why not bask in the moment?

When it was time for them to meet up again, Katya hurriedly put on her burgundy one-piece swimsuit that has a low back and paired it with her distressed denim shorts and slides. She then tied her very long hair in a bun and grabbed her sunglasses, sunblock, beach towel, her room keys, and black visors then dumped them into her jelly backpack. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror beside the door and was very pleased with how she looked like Pamela Anderson on Baywatch, minus the big boobs. Satisfied with her look, she hurried to the elevator and unexpectedly bumped into Sasha and Shea.

“There you are, Katya!” Shea said excitedly, looping her arm into Katya’s. “I want to ask you something, but first, I want to thank you for helping us out with this wonderful weekend.” 

“That’s no problem, Shea. Anything for you and baldy.” She winked. “So, what do you wanna ask me?” 

“Well it’s just that I’m kinda seeing you and Trix you know, are really getting comfortable with each other,” Shea said as they were stepping inside of the elevator. “And I know it’s not just me who sees a connection between you two.” She wiggled her eyebrows at her.

“Yeah, I think we do. I mean, she’s funny and beautiful.” She said nonchalantly.

“That’s perfect!” Shea exclaimed and squeezed Sasha’s hand.

“Baby, let’s calm down.” Sasha chuckled. “Let them do this on their own.” She whispered.

Katya tried to ignore her friends’ hushed whispers about her and changed the subject to their upcoming wedding and their progress with all the wedding decoration hunting. She hated being the center of attention, especially when people are talking about her dating life. She liked keeping her dating life private because she didn’t feel comfortable about divulging that information to everyone around her, especially with her troubled past with her girlfriend. Katya dated someone a long time ago who apparently was only about her money and her inheritance. The girl kept taking advantage of her love and kindness, and has even gotten to the point that her ex tried to commit fraud with her bank accounts and credit cards to buy a lot of her designer things. Luckily, their accountant caught her before she did this and they took proper legal action for the incident. Since then, Katya’s been wary of dating and just settled on one night stands and flings. She didn’t like being emotionally invested to anyone, and keeps a safe distance whenever she finds someone attractive. It doesn’t help that she couldn’t stop thinking about Trixie, because she didn’t want to drag her into her mess. She knows Trixie is an awesome person, and as much as she wants to get to know her on that kind of level, she decides to just admire her from afar. Trixie deserves so much more than someone who can only give her something half hearted for now, so she tries her best to not get caught up in her alluring brown eyes and her ridiculous banshee laugh.

  
  


The sky looked so beautiful that afternoon, and the sun’s rays weren’t crazily shining. It was the perfect weather for a dip, and their friends seemed to think so too. When they arrived at the beach, they saw Violet, Alaska, and Bob taking pictures for their instagram accounts and Trixie and Kim were by the huge umbrellas, with Trixie resting with a book covering her face and Kim applying tanning oil to her skin. Katya couldn’t take her eyes off of Trixie as she was wearing the most scandalous white bikini and it was accentuating all of her curves. She concluded that avoiding Trixie will be very difficult today, but she’ll try her best.

“Katya, you’re drooling.” Sasha said with a smug face while motioning to wipe her drool. 

“Stop using my lines, baldy!” She said while laughing.

“I wanna be your wingwoman, but I know you got this.” She winked at her.

Katya blushed furiously. “I don’t. I’m not gonna pay too much attention to you today, because you’re not that subtle when you want to set people up.” 

“Right. I’m the awkward one.” She rolled her eyes playfully. “I just want you to take a leap of faith, okay?” She patted Katya on her shoulder and made her way to her friend group.

In the corner of her eye, she saw someone waving at her. It was Trixie, who was all smiles and was asking her to join her in the umbrellas. So much for trying to keep her distance.

“There you are! I’m so glad you’re here.” Trixie said as Katya sat near her legs on the sun lounger. “You look like Pamela Anderson.” Trixie wolf-whistled playfully then laughed hard. 

“I know. I look like a model, don’t I?” She began posing awfully and Trixie started to laugh. Katya thinks her laugh is endearing. “I think you look amazing and your tan is great.” 

“I don’t think it’s advisable to tan at 3pm, but here we are.” She shrugged. “Hey, I just wanna apologize on behalf of my friends. I know they mean well, but they’re really dumb like that. I don’t want Violet to get mad or get jealous for the wrong reasons.” 

Katya was stunned by Trixie’s word vomit. She really thinks she’s dating Violet? Maybe that’s why things got awkward at brunch.

“It’s not a problem, Trix.” She said carefully. “I know our friends are very eager about a lot of things, and I hope that didn’t make you uncomfortable.”

Trixie let out a breath and tried to smile. “No, I totally get it. I wasn’t uncomfortable or anything. I’m just really used to it.” Katya nodded in understanding.

“By the way, Violet and I aren’t dating. She’s a huge bitch, but I love her so much. I would never date any of my friends, though.” Katya let out a nervous chuckle. She internally chastised herself because if she made friends with Trixie, it might send the wrong message.

Trixie’s eyes widened in surprise and deflated a bit. “Great. So are we cool?” 

“Cooler.” 

“You’re so corny.” 

“I like corny.” Katya said absentmindedly.

“So you like me?” Trixie said cheekily.

“Well I would love to get to know you more. Would that be okay?” Katya bit her lip.

“More than.” She squeezed her hand.

The afternoon went by quickly and they’ve both gotten to know each other pretty well. Katya hadn’t noticed the time until Violet went up to them and told them that the bridal shower will be starting soon, so they needed to leave now so they could freshen up. They both agreed and she told Trixie that she’ll see her later, and couldn’t help but smile at the fact that she saw Trixie blushing before they parted ways.

“You’re both so whipped for each other.” Violet scoffed.

“She thought we were dating earlier. I think she’s kind of jealous.” 

“Well did you tell her the truth?”

“Of-“

“Scratch that. I know you did. You never lie.”

“Of course I don’t. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Nothing, Katie. I’m happy because you’re happy.” Violet hugged her tightly.

  
  


Sasha and Shea’s bridal shower was so much fun. Alaska and Kim did a great job organizing it and Bob did a great job hosting. They all played trivia games (in which Katya got very competitive with Bob) and drank a lot of alcohol. Of course, Alaska was the first one to black out because she’s naturally lightweight, so Bob had to help her sit on the couch to avoid her being stepped on by Kim and Violet, who were dancing like idiots. Katya was looking at Sasha and Shea intently. She didn’t miss the way Shea was rubbing her thumb on Sasha’s hand while she was having a conversation with Bob, and how Sasha knows when to tap Shea affectionately on the shoulder to ask her to drink some water. She smiled at them because she was in awe of how connected they are naturally, and how they’re so in tune with their needs. She craved for a love like that - a love that truly knows you and accepts your demons wholeheartedly. She wants to be with someone who is truly connected to her emotionally and won’t shut her out when things get hard. She knows that the both of them endured a lot of lows and celebrated a lot of highs in order to be where they are today.

Just as she was making her way to the drinks table, she was stopped by a beautiful, blonde angel who was wearing a tight, satin fuchsia dress that was a little too short and almost revealed her panties.

“Hey, Kat.” She smiled at her. Katya couldn’t help but stare at her face because Trixie really looked like a bombshell tonight with her beautiful waves and juicy nude lip.

“Hey Trix. Have I ever told you that you look really beautiful tonight?”

“You haven’t yet, but please go on.” Trixie batted her eyelashes comically and Katya let out a wheezy laugh. “You’re so rotted!” She said after calming down a bit.

Trixie looked around and immediately went to Katya’s side. “Hey, listen, do you want to go to my room? I wanna talk more, but they’re being too loud. They won’t know that we left because they’re too drunk to notice.” Trixie whispered to her and giggled. 

“Sure, but try not to trip and fall. I think you’ve had a bit too much to drink.” Katya said while grabbing a bottle of water and an unopened tin of popcorn.

“Why are you grabbing those? You’re no fun.” Trixie immediately snagged the items away from Katya’s hands and placed them back on the table. She then managed to get the bottle of Dom Perignon from the table and the rest of the charcuterie board.

Katya tried to stop her from taking Brianna’s gifts away from Trixie, but drunk Trixie is very stubborn and doesn’t want to give up the wine and the charcuterie board. She’ll just have to apologize to her friends tomorrow morning, but for now she’ll be dealing with Trixie.

When they reached Trixie’s room, she immediately excused herself to change into more comfortable clothes. Katya took this opportunity to set down the board and wine properly on the table. Everything was kind of overwhelming her, and she just needed a few moments to breathe. She knows this is okay and everything is fine, but her anxiety is nagging her and telling her that something might go wrong because of her. She shut her eyes tightly and took deep breaths.

“Everything okay?” 

She immediately opened her eyes and saw Trixie clad in a nightie. Her eyes widened at the view and couldn’t say anything back.

“Hey,” Trixie said while sitting next to her. “Are you okay? You were kind of talking to yourself while your eyes were closed so I got a little worried.” 

“I’m fine, Trix. I’m just calming myself down. Today was really an eventful day and I needed to slow down a bit, I suppose.” 

“I can relate. Sometimes things just get too overwhelming for me to handle too.” She placed her hand over Katya’s. “I’m here for you, okay?”

“Me too.” She rubbed her thumb acros Katya’s hand.

“Well, Miss Zamo, since we have the board and the wine here in my room, why don’t we play 21 questions? That sounds fun.” 

“Did I suddenly go back to college?” Katya said, clearly amused by Trixie’s abrupt change of topic.

Trixie rolled her eyes at her and poked her side. “That’s like, such a good way to get to know each other.” She said while pouring wine over the two glasses in front of her. “Don’t be a party pooper, Kat.” Trixie pouted at her.

“Fine, but you go first.” Katya said and took a sip of the wine. She didn’t miss how Trixie’s eyes sparkled when she gave in to her request.

“Okay then. If you had a time machine, would you go back in time or visit the future?”

“Great question. I think I’d visit the future for sure, because I want to check if we would be asked to live on Mars or something. That would be cool. How about you?”

“I think I’d go back in time. I want to spend a little bit more time with my grandpa before he died.” She said while taking a big gulp. Katya scooted closer to her and squeezed her shoulder. “Sorry, did that become too sad for the first question?” She said jokingly. “Your turn.”

“Hmm… who’s your all time celebrity crush?” 

“Oh, easy. Paul Rudd from Clueless or Jesse Eisenberg.” Katya let out a laugh. 

“What’s wrong with that?” 

“Jesse Eisenberg? That’s interesting.” Katya couldn’t stop herself from grinning.

“What? He’s hot.” Trixie said as she grabbed a handful of grapes and ate it all at once. “How about you?”

“I’m obsessed with Julia Roberts and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, but I love Julia Roberts more.” Katya shrugged. “What’s your ultimate goal in life, miss Beatrice Angelyne Mattel?”

“Well, miss Yekaterina Petrovna Zamolodchikova, my ultimate goal in life is to touch peoples’ lives through music. Even though I produce music for others, I want to work on projects for myself and become a singer. I’ve been doing this since I was a kid and I want to fulfil my childhood dream, you know?” She smiled sleepily. “How about you? I’m very curious to know since I think you have your life together already.” 

“It’s far from together actually.” She said matter-of-factly. “I wanna get back to making art and attending exhibits. I miss that part of my life so much and I also want to manage my own art gallery. I feel most alive and most myself when I’m making art.”

“That’s so amazing. You’re very passionate about your art and mastering your craft. I am so proud of you, you know that?” 

“Thanks, Trix. I’m proud of you too. You’re one hell of a woman, for sure.” 

Trixie cleared her throat and laughed awkwardly. “Right. So, Katya, do you think people can cry underwater?” 

“I think so? But you can’t ugly cry. That takes too much effort and breathing which you can’t do underwater. Unless you have gills.” 

“You’re being so silly.” Trixie hiccuped. “Where did that come from?” 

Katya grabbed her wine glass and put it on the nearest table. “I think it’s time to cut you off the wine now, Trixie.”

“But whyyyyyyyyyy, Katya? I’m okay, I’m a big girl, and I can handle more alcohol than you think.” She pouted at Katya’s firm no. 

“You can’t sway me. No more wine, Trix. You’ll get a hangover.”

Trixie climbed onto Katya’s lap and pinned her against the bed frame she’s leaning on. Katya could feel Trixie’s hot breath on her cheek and her breasts pressed onto her own.

“Have I ever told you how beautiful you look today?” Trixie said as she looked into Katya’s eyes with a dreamy look. “Your eyes look so otherworldly too. It looks like it’s made out of the ocean.” Her compliment made Katya blush furiously.

“Thank you Trix, but that’s not gonna make me give you wine. I told you, you need to stop.” Katya said firmly.

“Even if I kiss you?”

“Even if you kiss-“ Katya’s eyes widened. “You can’t kiss me, Trixie.”

“Why not? I like you.”

“I know, but you’re drunk and you’ll black out in a bit.”

“I won’t black out, I promise.” 

Trixie then slowly made her way to Katya’s lips, but then slowly began to stop as her head found its way to Katya’s shoulder while her hands were placed on Katya’s neck. She could feel Trixie’s breath slow down and become more patterned. Trixie fell asleep on her and almost kissed her. 

“Trixie, you’ll be the death of me.” Katya said quietly as she moved her to the bed. She could feel herself drifting off to sleep while Trixie snuggled beside her.


	4. you make it easy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trixie’s a successful 25 year old music producer. She loves her job, really. However, nobody’s life is perfect, and she gets lonely sometimes, even if she’s afraid of commitment.
> 
> Katya’s a 33 year old artist and an heiress to a well-known hotel business. She’s tired of people taking advantage of her kindness and her love.
> 
> You know the rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> I’m back back back back back again (lol). Sorry for the reaaaallly long hiatus, writer’s block got the best of me. Anyway, I hope you’re still reading this because I plan on pre-writing a lot of the chapters this week. :)
> 
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> P.S. still not beta-ed 😅

A few months have passed since their friends’ bridal shower, and Trixie noticed the subtle and not-so-subtle changes that had happened around her ever since that night happened.

Even though they’ve all gone back into their own separate lives, Trixie thinks their friendships grew closer and stronger after that. She noticed that welcome change when Alaska and Bob would always offer to grab dinner when they all worked in the studio even though their day ended way before Trixie’s, or when Kim suddenly barges in her apartment carrying a huge bag of Chipotle for them to munch on while they caught up on the latest gossip that Violet provided them (and even her growing friendship with Violet surprised her. How unexpected was that, right?). Most of all, she was very pleased with the fact that a funny, mysterious, and endearing Russian woman came into her life in the most unexpected way.

  
  


Katya.

  
  


She didn’t know how Katya slid into her life so easily when she built huge walls around her to guard her own heart. She didn’t know how easy it was to trust her with her most embarrassing stories, or her most mundane observations. Katya took all those little pieces of Trixie and held it closely like it was the most precious thing in the world. Her friendship with Katya was such a breath of fresh air to her since it gave her this feeling of calm and warmth that she hadn’t felt in a long time. Strangely enough, she finds herself looking at Katya a second longer, holding her arm a little firmer, and laughing at her weird jokes a little bit harder.

  
  


Trixie didn’t find it so hard to actually develop feelings for her.

  
  


She wasn’t aware of it until one day, the older woman invited her out to lunch to catch up with her (even though they’ve just been apart for 36 hours). When she asked her where they’ll meet up, Katya refused to let her know where and simply said that she’ll be the one picking Trixie up.

By the time the clock read 11:55 am, Katya was already outside the studio smoking a cigarette. When she spotted Trixie, she gave her the biggest smile and hugged her a little tighter that day. She told the younger woman that she looked really amazing wearing her collared powder blue dress and white platform heels. Trixie wasn’t exactly sure why she felt her heart skip a beat over Katya’s simple compliment. Usually she retaliated with a dumb joke, but she just looked at Katya in disbelief while she rambled on about how she can’t find a good parking spot near the studio.

Katya took her to a new vegan place that her friend Ginger ran and she told Trixie that she thought of her immediately when Ginger asked her who she’ll bring with her during her opening week. Trixie felt herself blush because Katya was being really thoughtful. She busied herself looking at the menu, completely trying to shake off the sudden hyper awareness that she had. She tried to act like nothing was wrong, but she couldn’t. How could she?

“Trix, you’re being really weird.” Katya said while laughing awkwardly.

“I’m not being weird, you’re the one being weird.” 

Katya raised her eyebrows. “Okay, then why are you munching on the edamame super fast while looking like you wanna murder someone?”

Trixie cackles and playfully shoves Katya’s shoulder. She quickly patted off some of the crumbs that stuck onto her friend’s expensive looking blazer.

“For your information Miss Zamolodchikova, you’re really getting it all wrong. I am not thinking of murdering someone, but I am actually thinking about how this parmesan edamame will murder my waistline even more.”

“You’re so stupid. I don’t think edamame will do that to you.” 

Katya smiled at her and she felt like she forgot how to breathe, while also simultaneously feeling like she’s surrounded by clouds.

Developing feelings for Katya was never forced; rather, it was ebbing and flowing naturally, similar to how she always knew the chords to her favorite Dolly song no matter how long it was since she last played it, or the way she knew how to make her tea in the perfect temperature that was just hot enough to comfort her, not scald her.

  
  


However, this foreign feeling also made Trixie really scared. She was terrified of what this might bring. She hopes and prays to the gay gods that she won’t fall for her even more.

  
  


***

One day, Trixie was sitting quietly beside Bob while working on answering some unread emails when her friend pulled her aside, causing her to almost drop her laptop. She was about to flip out on her, but Bob put his palm on Trixie’s face.

“Trixie, I have a question for you. Please be honest with me because I really wanna know.” Bob said while looking at her intently.

“You know Roberta, you could’ve just asked me a question without attempting to break my laptop and my arm.” She scoffed and put away her laptop. “What do you wanna ask me?”

“Promise me you’ll be honest.” Bob said with a very serious tone. She knows her friend only uses this particular tone when she’s in “producer mode”.

“Of course,” she replied. “What is it?”

Bob looked at her with curious eyes. “Are you and Zamo dating each other?”

She was taken aback by her friend’s bluntness. Was her feelings really apparent to everyone she’s with that everyone thinks they’re an item?

Determined to seem nonchalant, she flipped her hair over her shoulder.

“No, we’re not dating,” Trixie said cooly. “Why did you ask?”

Bob looked horrified and put on a fake smile on her face. Trixie knows that Bob doesn’t even smile a lot.

“Why did you ask, Roberta?” She inquired. “We’re just really great friends.” 

“Nothing, Trixie. I just thought you were, because Alaska saw Katya around our favorite coffee shop with a blonde girl.” 

Trixie’s eyes widened in surprise. She tried to hide her expression, but her face betrayed her.

“Alaska sent it to me and she looked like you from the back. Also, we might have thought that she was with you because Katya was laughing while talking to her.” Bob reluctantly showed her the "alleged picture with Trixie” and she definitely knew it was Katya, but who is this girl?

“I thought we were great friends, Bob. I haven’t worn my hair in a high ponytail in years.” She joked. “I’m also not a fan of denim jackets over a maxi dress.” 

Bob rolled her eyes. “Right. I just thought that you were with her since you’re always together. Alaska and I were talking about how good you both looked.”

“I mean I know how good we both look, but I definitely think that you guys are literally so crazy shipping us together.” 

“Whatever, Trix,” Bob squeezed her shoulder. “Just remember to live a little. Don’t reject the idea of something crazy happening to your life just yet.” 

“With you guys as my friends, nothing is ever crazy.” She cackled. “Let’s go out to drink tonight! Drinks on me.” 

“Now you’re speaking my language!” 

***

“I am so excited for Sasha and Shea’s wedding this weekend!” Katya said while barging in Trixie’s office. She noticed that her friend was wearing her hair in a half ponytail and she was clad in a beautiful blue velour power suit. Even though the edges of her signature red lip have faded a bit, she still looks immaculate as ever.

“Good afternoon to you too, weirdo.” Trixie smiled brightly. “Did you pick up the suit that you’ll be wearing to the wedding already? I know you’re very forgetful considering your old age.”

“Why do you keep on insisting that I’m old? You’ll be 33 in a few years, too.” She said while sitting down on Trixie’s desk. “Before I forget, I want to give you something.” 

Trixie looked at Katya expectantly while she rummaged through her red crocodile skin Birkin. She squealed in delight when the older blonde handed her four packs of her favorite strawberry snacks.

“Thank you so much Katya! Oh my gosh.” She held the snacks closer to her chest. “Where did you get this?”

“There was this event at the hotel that some people booked. They held a mini international snack trading convention and the sweet Japanese lady gave me those. I know how much you love pink and strawberry, so I saved those just for you. I even made some of my staff check if there were any leftovers so that I could bring you some more. Unfortunately those were all that they had left .” She recalled while pouting at the fact that she only got Trixie a handful of snacks. “Are you done with work today? Let’s grab dinner.”

“Yup! I’m just finishing some emails and I just need to send copies of the remaining arrangements to Alaska.” She looked up at her friend. “You can pick wherever you wanna eat because you gave me amazing snacks.” She batted her eyelashes comically. 

“Okay, let me check the available restaurants nearby.” Katya said as she opened her phone to check Google.

In the middle of finishing her tasks, Trixie saw in the corner of her eye that Katya was looking at her and was about to say something, but then decided to just keep quiet.

  
  


They settled on a small hole-in-the-wall Japanese restaurant just a few blocks away from the studio. Trixie took notice of the mouth watering aromas enveloping the quaint space and felt like she could eat anything right now. Their server led them to the farthest table on the right, near the mini wishing well.

“This place looks so cool, Kat. The smells coming from the kitchen are making me hungry.” Trixie said as she picked up the menu. “Are there any vegetarian options here?”

“Yup,” Katya responded without looking up at her. “I always make sure that there’s a vegetarian option wherever we go.” She smiled at her.

Trixie settled on a vegetarian ramen and a side of vegetarian okonomiyaki. Katya, on the other hand, ordered tonkotsu ramen and a side of gyoza. After placing their orders, Trixie noticed that Katya was being a little bit restless in her seat. She knew that it meant that she was either restless because of a busy day managing the hotel, or that she’s anxious about something. Trixie was trying to figure out what was happening to her friend when she squeezed her open palm.

“Trixie, I’m really nervous about the wedding this weekend.” She sighed in relief internally because it wasn’t anything bad. 

“Why are you nervous? You’re all set with your speech, outfit, and luggage, right?” The woman in front of her nods. “What’s wrong, babe?” She scolded herself internally for the cheesy nickname.

Katya sighs. “I actually don’t know why. I guess it’s because it’s Sasha we’re talking about, you know? That bald woman has been there for me through it all and I love her so much, really. She’s like a sister to me, so I really want to be a great best woman for her wedding.” 

“I’m sure you’ll be great.” Trixie smiles and holds Katya’s hand and gives it a small squeeze. “You have nothing to worry about during her wedding because you’ll be a great help to her and she won’t mind if you’re being a little extra jittery on her wedding.” She looks at her fondly.

“I suppose.” Katya pouts. “I also hope she likes my wedding gift. I think it’s one of the most thoughtful gifts I have ever given to someone since I usually suck at gifts.”

“Speaking of gifts,” Trixie leaned a bit forward. “What did you get them? I got them a Keurig since they both love coffee so much.” 

“I was supposed to buy a Keurig for them too!” She says excitedly. “But since I’m not a basic white woman, I got them wedding singers for the occasion. I even picked out the set list this weekend!”

“That IS a great gift and that is so thoughtful of you! Did you know that I always wanted to become a wedding singer? I’m starting to think that the universe is telling me something right now.” She chuckled and took notice of the way Katya’s face softened at her confession.

“I’d love to hear you sing soon.” Katya said with all of the adoration in the world.

Katya didn’t notice how Trixie blushed furiously because of that.

  
  


After they finished their hearty meals and talked about everything and anything under the sun, it was time for them to head home. While they were walking towards Katya’s parking spot, she recalled what Bob had told her earlier this week. Who was this mystery girl that Katya’s with and was she dating her? She knows Katya wouldn’t keep secrets from her, especially something as important as her dating somebody new knowing how her past relationship went. She wanted to know if this mystery woman was good enough for her friend because she just doesn’t want her to get hurt.

Katya took notice of her quietness and decided to stop suddenly on her tracks, causing the taller blonde to almost trip on the sidewalk. Good thing she was quick to catch Trixie and prevented her from toppling over.

“Katya, I almost fell flat on my face! Why did you suddenly stop walking?” Trixie said while fixing her dress and her shoe straps.

“You seem awfully quiet during our walk, Trix. You’re never quiet when we do this, and you usually talk my ear off. Is there something bothering you?” Katya said as she held out her hand for Trixie to hold.

“I’m fine, Kat,” she quickly plastered a fake smile and held the older blonde’s hand. “I was just thinking about some things.” 

“What are you thinking about? You wanna tell me?”

Trixie sighed. “It’s nothing, Katya. I promise. It’s just something stupid.”

Katya raised an eyebrow at her. “Well if it’s something stupid, why can’t you just tell it to me and let’s laugh about it?”

Trixie’s really a bad liar, especially to Katya. She literally cannot lie even if her life depended on it. 

Katya’s been looking at her for the past minute and she can’t help but look away from those scrutinizing blue-green eyes. She knows she’s gonna regret this in a bit, so she just released her lower lip from her bite and sighed.

“Well, Bob told me earlier this week that Alaska told her that you were dating someone and you were with them that day.”

Katya was clearly surprised about her friend’s confession, but decided to keep quiet and motioned to her to continue anyway.

“I know we’re really great friends and we get along really well. I really don’t know what I did for you to be uncomfortable sharing that kind of thing to me.” She frowned. “I mean, it’s not your obligation to tell me everything, and it’s none of my business, really. But I just wanted to-“

“Beatrice Angelyne Mattel,” Katya cut her off mid sentence. “I’m not dating anybody.” She assured her and tightened her grip on Trixie’s hand. Something about Katya staring at her intently made her feel that she wasn’t lying to her. Maybe she’s just hypnotized by Katya’s bright, honest eyes.

“I 100% promise to you that I am not dating anyone right now. I would seriously tell you if I’m dating anybody right now, let alone begin to like someone. Why would I keep that from you?” 

Trixie was taken aback by her abrupt answer. “Right. I’m sorry Kat, I mean-“

“I promise I won’t keep anything from you. You’re literally my best friend.” 

Trixie can feel her stomach tighten and her heartbeat going faster as Katya tightens her hug. Katya’s perfume was dizzying her and the only thing that she could feel was the older blonde’s cheek buried on her neck. She couldn’t help but sigh at the fact that she really had feelings for her friend and she didn’t know what to do about it.

***

Shea and Sasha’s wedding can be summarized in one word: ethereal.

Different shades of blue were found at the outdoor garden wedding venue with hints of gold and peach all around. Different colors of peonies, roses, hydrangeas, and a smattering of lilies of the valley adorned the whole area that made it look so dreamy. Their rustic themed wedding surprised the wedding organizers, especially Violet, since they were expecting something more artsy and edgy. The couple just smiled and said that the theme fit their relationship - everything is supposed to be dreamy yet comforting, and reminded them of home where they could just be themselves.

As soon as Trixie finished her hair and makeup, she decided to go to Shea’s room where the rest of the bridesmaids were. She felt really happy about how she looked; her long locks were curled loosely and were put in an updo held together by fishtail braids. She decided to go for a more no makeup look and just highlighted her eyes and tied everything together with a pinky nude lipstick. Her maid of honor gown that was in a gorgeous shade of blue hugged her curves really well and showed off her glistening gold shoulders. She couldn’t help but feel giddy at the fact that she’ll see Katya now that she looks like a goddess that descended from the heavens to attend the wedding.

When she entered the room, she was met with a teary eyed Kim and just as emotional Brianna surrounding the beautiful bride that’s Shea. Her friends enveloped her into a hug while telling her that they were excited for this day that they were waiting for so long. As soon as Shea turned her head and motioned for her to join the emotional party, Trixie couldn’t help but hug them all tightly even though it meant slightly smashing Shea’s hair. She was filled with excitement and love for her very best friend in the universe and she couldn’t wait for her to become Mrs. Couleé- Velour in a few hours.

“Oh geez,” Shea said as she’s carefully drying out the tears from her eyes, avoiding her mascara-d bottom lashes. “It just feels so surreal. I thought people being sappy at their weddings were just them being dramatic because it’s such a huge milestone in their relationship that they just “had to do”. I realized that when you’re with the right person and you’re experiencing it firsthand, you can feel your love overflowing for your partner.” Shea continues dabbing the corner of her right eye. “I hope you all get to experience what I’m feeling right now. Doesn’t mean that you guys should get married too, you know, but the overflowing love that I feel right now for my partner.” 

Trixie smiled fondly at her best friend while simultaneously trying to stop a few tears escaping from her eyes. “Who would have known that the person who vowed to never love again found the love of her life a few months later?” 

***

When Katya finally saw Trixie just before they were supposed to line up for the ceremony, she was awestruck. She knew Trixie was beautiful when she first drooled on her shoulder, but this particular Trixie awakened something in Katya that made her feel so protective of her. She couldn’t figure out exactly what she was feeling for her, but she immediately felt a surge of (good) emotions. Katya didn’t realize that she was staring at Trixie a bit too long until she pointed it out.

“Katya, you should take a picture. It will last longer.” Trixie said while having the biggest smile plastered on her face.

“I love it when you smile like that, Зайка.” she said. She was supposed to have a witty comeback for her, but her stupid mouth failed her. Luckily, she didn’t miss how flustered Trixie got at her compliment.

Katya quickly fixed her posture and held out her arm for Trixie to hold. “Ready when you are.” She smiled at her lovingly.

She thinks she has an idea about how she feels about her most precious Barbie doll, and she knows that whatever it is, she’s starting to get a bit terrified.

***

The wedding ceremony turned out well and Trixie definitely knew that when the couple was saying their vows, there were no dry eyes present. Even Violet who was notoriously known for being stone cold shed a tear or two when Sasha said her vows to Shea. She made a mental note that she’ll be grilling Violet about that later.

When the reception proper started, everyone was in a happy mood and wanted to start dancing already, but Bob, as the host, insisted that everyone should hold on for a bit while the fun activities began.

When the crowd had settled, Bob started to call on Shea and Sasha’s parents to ask for their messages for the lovely couple. Trixie’s heart bloomed with love because of their wonderful and supportive messages to the couple. She just discovered that Sasha was really scared of coming out to her Ivy league professor parents, but then they quickly assured her that nothing is wrong with her and she is still their daughter and their love for her never changed even one bit. As she was on the brink of ugly crying in the middle of the ceremony, Bob called her on to give a message to the lovely couple.

“Nice save,” she whispered to Bob as she went up onstage. “I almost ugly cried and could have melted off all of my makeup with my tears.” 

“I know, that’s why I immediately called you up here so you won’t look a mess during pictures.” Bob smiled cheekily at her.

“Hi everyone,” she addressed the crowd. “My name’s Trixie Mattel and I’m Shea’s maid of honor slash best friend.”

She looked at the couple with tears in her eyes. “I’m really getting so emotional out here, so I’m just gonna make this quick.” She heard a few laughs coming from the crowd and proceeded to dry her eyes.

“When I first met Shea, the things she loved most were her collection of laptop stickers, her dog Baby, and passion fruit boba,” She started. “She didn’t actually think that she would get married in the near future because it all seemed so weird since she was a free spirit who would always be ready to go on her next adventure. She also didn’t like the liability of having a partner breathing down her neck at every hour asking for updates on where she was, who she’s with, and what she’s doing. Having a partner sucks, she said. They’ll clip my wings and prevent me from exploring the world and growing, you know?”

Sasha leaned in closer to rest her head on Shea’s shoulder and in return, she kissed her head.

“I think she ate her words when she met Sasha over there. She knew my friend over here was a free spirit, that’s why instead of clipping her wings, she took her hand and went on this crazy rollercoaster of a journey beside her. She never once doubted Shea and her decisions, but rather supported her on every up and down that they experienced. She made sure that when my best friend was growing, she was right there growing with her.” 

Trixie dabbed the tears from her eyes. 

“I knew it was love and I knew that they were meant for each other because they work so well together and they complement each other. They continuously supported each other in every venture they explored, and offered each other support whenever needed. They understood each other in ways unknown to the naked eye and I am so lucky that I am able to witness that kind of love in this lifetime.”

The couple both started crying and Trixie handed them more tissues. She wanted to cry with them obviously, but she wants her friends to have her moment so she just held back the waterworks a bit.

“I love you both so much and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for you both.” She smiles at them and turns to the audience and raises her glass. 

“Cheers to the lovely couple!”

As the crowd raised their glasses for the couple, she noticed that a teary eyed Katya was looking at her with a different kind of twinkle in her eye.

***

After the festivities from earlier, Alaska decided to drag Trixie to the bathroom with her since she had too much iced tea from dinner. Trixie wanted to leave her to look for Katya but she had no choice but to join her friend because she was being dragged by the arm against her own will.

When they reached the nearest restroom, Trixie couldn’t help but laugh at her friend’s ridiculous sigh of relief once she found the empty stall. While waiting for Alaska, Trixie decided to touch up because Brianna asked them to come join her for a few photobooth pictures. As she rummaged through her purse to get her lipstick, she heard someone gasp beside her.

“Oh my gosh! Are you Trixie Mattel?” 

She turned to her left and saw an excited blonde woman standing next to her. The blonde woman had an enormous smile on her face as she looked at Trixie expectantly, waiting for an answer. She noticed that she was wearing a lilac, chiffon, asymmetrical floor length gown and her blonde hair was curled and put into a delicate bun. Trixie thought she looked familiar, but she can’t put her finger on it.

“The one and only!” She met her with a small smile. “How did we meet? Sorry, I’m really bad at remembering names.” 

“It’s alright, gorg! I don’t think we’ve formally met but my name’s Jannifer Mantione. You can call me Jan.” She smiled and extended her hand for Trixie to shake. She shakes it and smiles politely. “Nice to meet you, Jan. So what brings you here? Are you a friend of Shea or Sasha? Or are you a plus one?”

“Actually, I’m Bob’s friend! But that’s not why I’m here, though. Me and my friends are the wedding singers that got gifted to the couple. A really amazing gift if I should say so myself.” Jan says with a smug smile.

_ Wedding singer. _

_ Wedding singer. _

_ Where did I hear that from?  _

“Anyways, gorg, it was nice meeting you,” Jan continued, not fazed by the fact that Trixie stopped responding to her a few seconds ago. “I hope we can work together soon! My girls and I really love the music you produce with your artists of choice. You turn everything to gold!” She smiles and gives her an air kiss. “Talk to you later! I’m gonna be late for the set!”

Trixie was left behind completely stunned by what happened earlier. She thinks she has early onset memory loss at this point. Just as she was about to leave the restroom, Alaska called her and told her to wait for her.

  
  


“There you guys are!” Brianna called them as they were nearing the table. “We couldn’t take pictures without you guys!” 

“Sorry about that, Bri. You know how Alaska’s bladder is. I thought she got swallowed whole by the toilet because she was taking too long!” Trixie said while sitting on the chair next to Kim.

Alaska rolled her eyes playfully. “Do you want me to pee all over the floor? I need to empty out my bladder completely before any activity!” 

“You can pee all over the floor and find someone with a piss kink, that’s for sure.” Violet quipped. Everyone on the table laughed while Alaska just huffed.

  
  


***

“Hi everyone, how are y’all feeling tonight? Are you loved up and enjoying your night?” Jan asked the crowd and earned a lot of hoots and hollers from them.

“We are so glad to hear you guys are enjoying the wonderful couple that is Shea and Sasha’s wedding!” The blue haired girl said excitedly. “Are you guys ready to feel more in love with our first set?” The crowd unanimously said yes.

“Alright, so go grab your dancing partner and let’s have a fun night tonight!” The tall lady wearing a rose colored gown said. “This song is called Landslide and we’re Stephanie’s Child. Hope you enjoy it!” 

_ I took my love and I took it down _

_ I climbed a mountain and I turned around _

_ And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills _

_ Well, the landslide brought me down _

Trixie was admiring how the wedding singers’ voices sounded like when Katya stood beside her, hand extended and all. She looked up to her and she saw that the older blonde was smiling brightly at her.

“May I have this dance, Miss Mattel?” Katya said while looking at her. Trixie felt her cheeks heat up by her stare and nodded yes.

“I thought you’d never ask.” 

_ Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love? _

_ Can the child within my heart rise above? _

_ Can I sail through the changing ocean tides? _

_ Can I handle the seasons of my life? _

“Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?” Katya said while placing her hands on Trixie’s waist and swaying with her. Wearing heels was a good idea as she didn’t have Trixie towering over her too much.

“You have.” Trixie replied. “A bajillion times already, but who’s complaining?” She snickered. 

“First of all, Trixie, bajillion isn’t even a real number,” Katya rolled her eyes playfully. “Second of all, no one’s complaining. Whoever’s gonna complain is gonna hear from me.” 

Trixie hid her reddening cheeks by placing her hands over the older blonde’s shoulder and burying her face on the crook of Katya’s neck. She knows that she smells amazing and her Tom Ford perfume is really dizzying her in an intoxicating way, and somehow she couldn’t keep herself away from her. She wants to control her ever growing feelings for her friend, but by the looks of it, the more she resists the feeling, the more it rebels and becomes deeper.

_ Well, I've been afraid of changing 'cause I built my life around you _

_ But time makes you bolder _

_ Children get older _

_ I'm getting older, too _

“Hey Trix?” Katya said, her face softening.

“Yeah?” Trixie looked at her with a newfound glimmer in her eye.

“I’m really glad I met you. I hope you know that.” Katya said with utmost sincerity. Trixie could feel the pain in her chest because she knows deep inside that Katya will never be more than just her friend.

_ So, take this love and take it down _

_ Yeah, and if you climb a mountain and you turn around _

_ And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills _

_ Well, the landslide brought me down _

_ And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills _

_ Well, maybe _

_ Well, maybe _

_ Well, maybe the landslide will bring you down _

They continued swaying for the rest of the song. Unbeknownst to them, their friends are taking tons of pics of them while Sasha and Shea shared a knowing look. They knew something was brewing and they didn’t want to jinx it.

***

Trixie, Katya, and their friends spent the rest of the night drinking and dancing together. Their friends noticed that they were both very tactile with each other tonight — holding hands, looking at each other in a very obvious non platonic way, touching each other’s small of the back, and drawing circles on each other’s palm. Nobody dared to comment on it because they knew that they would get defensive and the magic will be ruined.

As the night came to a close, Trixie didn’t notice that Katya was missing. Maybe it was because of the large crowd dancing to Lady Gaga’s Rain On Me, or maybe she didn’t notice because she had one too many margaritas. Whatever the case may be, she was determined to look for Katya and maybe, just maybe, she has enough alcohol in her body to bravely admit her feelings for her.

Trixie started looking for Katya once she passed through the sweaty gay crowd. She started looking for Katya in the restrooms, but she was unsuccessful (however, she saw Brianna hooking up with someone in the stall. She makes a mental note to grill her about it later). Finally, after a few minutes of walking, she finally arrived at the garden where the ceremony took place and found Katya sitting on a chair. She happily walked towards her, but as she got closer to her, she noticed that she wasn’t wearing her coat and there’s someone in front of her wearing her coat. They were laughing and talking a lot, and they were touching each other’s arms while doing so. She even heard the person call Katya “babe”. They were so preoccupied with each other that they didn’t even notice Trixie getting nearer and nearer to them. 

“Hi gorg!” She smiled, clearly a bit tipsy and still has her champagne glass on hand.

It was Jan. Jan the wedding singer. She’s talking to Katya.

Katya turned around and smiled — her expression quickly changed when she saw Trixie crying. She immediately started to become alarmed by the situation and stood up to grab Trixie. Livid, Trixie swatted Katya’s hand away from her. Katya felt hurt not physically, but she felt like her heart shattered into a million pieces when Trixie looked at her angrily.

“How could you do this to me, Katya?” Trixie was seething with anger. “Earlier you sent me signals that you fucking like me and now you’re with someone else? AND she’s wearing your coat?! UNBELIEVABLE!” 

“Trixie, let me explain—“ 

“No! You’ve made it clear that I was just imagining things and that I’m just assuming things. Thanks, Katya. Message well received.” Trixie said with tears in her eyes.

“Doll, please listen to Katya,” Jan interrupted. “I know you’re drunk and angry, but I think —“ 

Trixie let out a loud “NO!” that made Jan flinch.

“Shut the fuck up, Jan!” She pointed her finger at her. “You don’t know how I feel so fucking stop telling me what to do!”

“Enough, Trixie! Stop being a stubborn brat and listen to me first before you point fingers at anyone!” Katya said with the coldest tone in her voice. This gave Trixie goosebumps, but she never backs down. 

Not even one second after, Katya’s face softens and she looks horrified. “Trixie, solnyshka, I am so sorry. I never meant—“

“A brat, huh?” Trixie scoffs and runs away crying.

Katya kept calling her and started to run after her but Trixie was far too quick for her to catch up.

  
  


Trixie doesn't know where she’ll go, but all she really wants is to get away from Katya.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! I woke up today and chose violence ♥️ Comments are greatly appreciated ♥️✨


	5. the eyes never lie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s been two weeks since Katya’s fight with Trixie.
> 
> Two weeks.
> 
> Trixie’s still not picking up her calls, answering her messages, and even opening the door for her.
> 
> It also had been a very lonely two weeks without Trixie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: slight mention of drugs
> 
> Hi my lovely readers!!
> 
> Thank you so so much for the overwhelming support for my little fic right here!! 🥺♥️ I really appreciate you all a lot. I’ll be writing some more over the next few days, but quick updates like this are not guaranteed, so sorry! I’ll definitely be keeping my long updates so I hope it’s always worth the wait. 
> 
> This chapter is a little bit more of Katya’s POV about the situation. I hope you all enjoy! :)
> 
> P.S. Still not beta’d :D  
> As always, comments are appreciated!!

It’s been two weeks since Katya’s fight with Trixie.

_ Two weeks. _

Trixie’s still not picking up her calls, answering her messages, and even opening the door for her. She wanted to give her space, so by the 5th day, she just sent a few checking in messages to her. Katya really couldn’t understand why Trixie got upset over seeing her and Jan together, laughing and talking. She knows she likes Trixie, but she would never lead her on if she didn’t. Was she jealous of Jan? Did she think she likes Jan in a “more than a friend” type of way? She wanted to explain to Trixie that it wasn’t the case, but she didn’t give her the chance to after she ran away from her. She also knows that Jan is still hurt by what had happened, since Jan wasn’t aware of what was going on between them and she got yelled at by Trixie. Katya apologized to her too, and even though she was met with an, “it’s okay, babe” from her, she knew that she wasn’t okay.

It also had been a very lonely two weeks without Trixie.

She didn’t realize how she was becoming an integral part of her everyday routine until the “good morning to my fave weirdo 💝” texts just stopped happening, or when she saw something that she knows Trixie would love (or hate), she didn’t have anyone to send them to. She also missed Trixie even more when Darlene knocked on her door and gave her a huge gift basket of assorted Japanese snacks that were mostly pink and strawberry flavored since the organizer of the snack trading convention wanted to show his gratitude for the successful event in Perestroika. All she could do was sigh and think of a way to get this to her friend. She misses her so much and she didn’t know what to do.

***

When she got home that night from work, she saw a few unread text messages from Sasha and Violet. Both of them know the predicament she’s in, and she feels bad because Sasha and Shea had to figure out what was happening between the two a week after they got back from their honeymoon when Trixie told them that she wasn’t coming to their weekly brunch because she was all of a sudden “sick”. The group put two and two together, but didn’t want to pry, so they just waited for the two to open up to any one of them.

Katya didn’t want to disturb any of her friends, but the familiar feeling of sadness was looming. She didn’t want to call Sasha so she just messaged her that she’s okay, she’s alive, and she already ate dinner. God forbid she make baldy worry about her too much. After a few moments of contemplating, she decided to FaceTime Violet. She knows she’s very objective about everything and she can give her a clear perspective about the situation she’s in, so she knows she’ll give her great advice.

“Hey whore,” Violet greeted her. “I didn’t expect you tonight. I thought you wanted some me time today?”

“I did, but I got lonely.” She managed to give her friend a small smile. “Vi, do you think I’m an asshole?” 

“For doing what exactly?”

Katya sighed. “You know, for making Trixie upset. For making everything shitty not just for me and her but also for all of us. For being mentally unstable.” 

Violet rolled her eyes at her. 

“First of all, you don’t even know the exact reason why Trixie was upset. Sure, yelling at her and calling her a brat isn’t exactly something a nice person would do, but you regret doing that so we can deduct a point from your assholery.” Violet said in the calmest and warmest tone that she could muster. Katya wanted to laugh at her friend’s sincerity, but she didn’t want her to hang up on her right now. 

“Didn’t you say that in the middle of your conversation with Jan about them singing live at your hotel she just got mad at you all of a sudden?” Katya nods at Violet. “So I think it’s just a misunderstanding and you really need to get a hold of her. Wait, of course you can’t. She’s still ignoring you, right?” 

Before she could even get a word in, Violet started talking again.

“Second of all, Yekaterina,” Violet continued, “You did not make everything shitty for all of us. We know the both of you are going through something and we both love and respect you enough to give you all the time and space you guys need to fix things. It might not be ideal, but hey, at least we’ve all made ourselves available for you both to confide in. Also, haven’t you thought about the possibility that maybe your anxiety is just telling you things? Or Dianne over there in your head with the bum leg and missing teeth?” 

Tears started streaming down Katya’s face uncontrollably. She knows what Violet’s saying is true, and her anxiety is just making it hard for her to not overthink everything that’s happening between her and Trixie. Katya has never felt anything like this in a really long time, and it just hurts her to see that she’s hurt Trixie and what’s worse is that she didn’t even know what the other blonde was thinking about during that time.

“Vi, I miss Trixie so much,” she sobbed. “I would do anything for us to get to talk again and be okay again. I miss being stupid with her.” 

“I know, Katya. I know.” Violet soothed. “We just have to think of a plan to get you guys to talk again. I’m sure one way or another she’s also thinking about you and what had happened.” 

“What makes you think that she’s thinking about me? I’m sure she’s okay with me not existing in her life anymore. She doesn’t return any of my calls or my messages. I don’t think she’s that bothered.” Katya began wiping the tears off of her face and blowing her nose from too much crying.

Little did Trixie and Katya know that their friend group have been constantly in touch with each other ever since that incident became known to the group. Initially, Kim thought that this was just a normal fight that they could resolve in a few hours, but this was a new record, even for Trixie. Kim and Shea knew that whatever happened really hurt Trixie for her to act this way. However, Trixie didn’t tell them the exact reason why she was hurt and upset with Katya, so they’re just speculating until now.

  
  


**Violet created a new group chat with Bob, Alaska, Shea, Sasha, Brianna, and Kim.**

**Violet renamed the group chat to** **_getting our idiots back together_ **

**Violet**

_ Hey guys, just finished facetiming Katya _

_ She’s really wrecked _

**Alaska**

_ yeah, trixie’s still locked up in her house too _

_ she’s working, but she’s still hurt _

_ I wish we knew exactly why though _

**Kim**

_ I went to Trixie’s earlier and brought her some food. I tried to ask her why she’s sad for the nth time, but she said she thinks she’s stupid for feeling that way and didn’t get enough information :( Sorry _

**Sasha**

_ That’s okay, Kim. :) Shea just told me that she remembers something about Katya sending mixed signals to her? It got me thinking a bit, too. _

**Bob**

_ Mixed signals? _

_ OH YEAH. I forgot they were really touchy and lovey dovey during your wedding.  _

**Violet**

_ Of course they were. All they had to do left was kiss during that time lol _

**Alaska**

_ I remember that, they were so sweet _

_ but why mixed signals? Kat isn’t flirting with anyone else afaik _

**Kim**

_ Did anyone else see Katya talk to anyone else besides us during the wedding? Or were we all white girl wasted during the reception lmao _

**_Alaska laughed at this message_ **

**Alaska**

_ I think I heard trixie talking to someone in the bathroom before we got back to the party, and i got a small glimpse of her purple dress but that’s it _

_ She was really excited to see her and she said something about being a wedding singer that night _

**Shea**

_ Fuck _

_ ALASKA _

_ THAT WAS THE GIRL  _

_ THAT WAS THE GIRL TRIXIE TOLD ME ABOUT _

_ I think _

_ I REMEMBER IT NOW _

**Alaska**

_ WHAT _

**Violet**

_ SHEA WTF _

_ Why didn’t you tell us earlier?????? THAT’S VITAL INFO _

**Shea**

_ Okay geez sorry my bad I have memory loss I think _

_ @ _ **_Sasha_ ** _ let’s go to the neuro pls baby?? _

**Sasha liked this message**

_ But I kind of remember Trixie telling me about this girl who was a singer, purple, and was with Katya before she saw her _

**Alaska, Violet and 2 others reacted !! at this message**

_ SHE SAW HER WEARING KATYA’S SUIT JACKET _

**Bob**

_ WAIT WHAT _

_ THAT’S JAN??? _

_ THAT’S WHY SHE WAS UPSET TOO _

_ SHE DOESN’T HAVE A CRUSH ON KATYA. I’M SURE SHE ISN’T FLIRTING WITH HER TOO _

_ She and her friends were hired as wedding singers! Jan’s literally in a relationship with Katya’s neighbor! _

**Violet**

_ What the fuck _

_ Why was she upset with Trixie? And wearing Katie’s jacket? _

**Brianna**

_ Hi, sorry to interrupt, but Jan told me she was drenched in alcohol that night because someone spilled it on her dress after the reception. Maybe that’s why Katya gave her her jacket? Also, she told me in passing that Trixie yelled at her. She wanted to cry. :( _

_ I think this was just a misunderstanding and I think they should talk it out _

**Bob**

_ Yikes, poor Jan _

_ I’ll call her later _

**Alaska**

_ OH MY GOD _

_ THEY’RE BOTH STUPID _

_ I ALSO THINK TRIXIE IS FUCKING STUPID _

**Violet liked this message**

_ SHE DIDN’T GIVE KATYA A CHANCE TO EXPLAIN _

**Kim**

_ Well that settles it _

_ We just need to figure out a way to make them both meet in person _

**Bob**

_ I think my plan is brilliant _

_ But we need a little help from our other friends _

  
  


***

Katya was surprised that Shea asked her out to lunch. Out of all the people in their friend group, she knew that the people who were least likely to reach out to her in any way possible were Shea and Kim as they were best friends with Trixie. She was hesitant about going at first, but Shea assured her that she’s 100% on her side too and she wants her  _ relationship  _ with Trixie fixed. They met on one sunny Saturday at Dela’s, their favorite cafe. While driving to Dela’s, she recalled Trixie’s story where she talked about meeting Shea at Dela’s and bonding over laptop stickers. She’s amused by this story because Trixie’s so ballsy and she didn’t even hesitate to talk to a stranger.

Katya arrived 5 minutes earlier and gave her a bit more time to ground herself and prepare herself for a conversation with Shea. She didn’t know where this conversation would go, but she was willing to try anything just to save whatever she and Trixie had. A few moments passed and she saw Shea enter Dela’s, large tote onhand. She waved at her and the tall woman walked to her seat.

“Hi Kat,” she greeted. “I’m so glad you’re here today. Thanks for meeting me.” 

Katya smiled at her. “No worries, Shea. Honestly, you’re one of the last people that I expected to come meet me or talk to me. I know you’re baldy’s wife, but you’re also Trixie’s best friend first.”

The cold breeze from the air conditioner made Shea shiver a bit, so she quickly pulled out a cardigan from her bag and wore it. She looked at Katya for a sec and tried to say something, but had some second thoughts. Shea’s gaze made her a bit uncomfortable because she felt guilty of something she doesn’t even know of. How they pulled off her surprise birthday party last year is still a mystery to her.

“Katya, I wanna tell you something. You have to listen first, okay?” Katya nodded in response.

“I know these past two weeks, you and Trix had some sort of falling out. We don’t know exactly the reason why you guys are in this situation, but we have some speculations.” She smiled cheekily.

“Anyway, I just wanna say that I hope you’re not gonna give up on her just yet because she is one stubborn bitch. Believe me, she’s really stubborn sometimes and I wanna strangle her when she is. I won’t excuse any of those, though. She’s a big girl and she should be responsible for her actions.” Katya chuckled. “The point is, Katya, she’s hurting. I know you’re hurting too because she’s been pretending for the past two weeks that you don’t even exist! That must be hard.”

“It is.” Katya agreed. 

“Right? Anyway, I also wanna tell you that she’s stupid too. I bet she didn’t even give you a chance to explain your side when you fought. Sometimes when Trixie’s mad and hurt, she shuts down that’s why she’s like that. She wants to improve, though. That’s why she’s been going to therapy. I think she told you that already and I know she’s doing good too. Slow and steady.” Shea smiled while playing with her engagement ring. 

“I want you to know that we don’t hate you. We got annoyed at first, but when Sasha told me Trixie left you in the dark, we felt bad that we got annoyed. We, of course, being me and Kim. I also want you to know that we will do our best to get you guys to talk again, okay? I promise.” 

Shea stepped out of her seat and gave Katya a hug. She doesn’t know that Katya hates hugs, but she accepted this one wholeheartedly. Shea really gives comforting hugs just like what Sasha had said to her. 

Katya doesn’t know why, but suddenly she became a bit more hopeful that Trixie will talk to her again. She’s not quite sure how it will play out, but she has a lot of faith in her friends.

***

Trixie didn’t know how long she was staring at the ceiling, but here she is.

It’s been two weeks since she started ignoring Katya because she got hurt. Seeing her with Jan made her realize that maybe Katya didn’t feel the same way she did. Maybe she was just overthinking and maybe she was misinterpreting the way Katya treated her all along. There’s also this nagging feeling in her head that she should apologize to Katya and Jan for the way she acted, but she’s also too embarrassed to admit that she was wrong. When she finally talked to Kim and Shea about the whole situation, they both said she was wrong when she yelled at them and didn’t even give them a chance to explain their side. Trixie knew her friends saw something between Katya and her, but she didn’t entertain that thought until one day she saw Katya in a different light. She realizes that she’s fucked AND she fucked up the possibility that Katya might even like her too.

Or so she thought.

In the beginning of her whole theatrics about being mad and completely ignoring Katya, she was very upset because Katya didn’t leave her alone. She always messaged her, called her, and even attempted to go to her apartment once (obviously she didn’t answer the door, but she saw through the peephole that Katya left a huge basket of the snacks that she brought her one time on her front door with a letter attached to it.

_ My dearest Trixie, _

_ I know you’re still mad at me, and I’m sorry for making you mad. I also want to say that I’m sorry for calling you a brat. I should have been more mindful of my words when I get frustrated or mad. I hope one day you return my calls and my messages because I miss you so much and I miss hanging out with you. Whenever I see something that I know you’ll like, or a really stupid meme on Twitter, I always get excited to share it with you and laugh about it with you, and now I don’t have that anymore. I just hope you’re okay (or at least trying to be), and I hope you take a break from working too much.  _

_ Talk to you soon (hopefully). _

_ With love, _

_ Katya _

_ P.S. Remember when there was a snack trading convention at the hotel? The organizers remembered me taking these snacks and gave me this huge basket as a thank you. I remembered how much you loved these, so obviously I’ll send them over to you. Hope this made you smile even just a little bit. _

  
  


Reading Katya’s letter made Trixie feel so annoyed with herself because she felt that Katya was genuinely sorry about everything even though she didn’t have an inkling of what exactly happened in Trixie’s mind. She feels like she’s selfish and inconsiderate for not thinking past her own head and just always thinking about how it made her feel. What about Katya? What about her feelings? She feels like she fucked up big time when the texts and calls from Katya started becoming less and less frequent. She’s panicking inside and wants to apologize to her. Trixie wants to shut up and wait for Katya, but she also doesn't want Katya to not become a part of her life anymore.

She decides to ask for some help from her friends because she really needed the courage.

***

“There you are! Welcome back, Trixie!” Alaska greeted her with a hug once she saw her come in the door. 

“I missed you, Lasky. Sorry I was a brat.” Trixie said once they separated from their hug. She put her bag on the chair nearest to her and sat beside Alaska.

“You weren’t exactly a treat, but I understand.” She replied. “Bob just went out because she had to get some coffee, but I told her to get you a ‘congrats on dragging yourself out of your apartment’ cookie.” 

Trixie laughed at the ridiculousness of her friends’ gesture. This doesn’t really surprise her since her friends are really sweet. She appreciates them even more now because they didn’t abandon her when she got really dramatic and decided to go on hermit mode.

The two of them were so engrossed in conversation when Bob walked into the room. Trixie quickly stood up and hugged her, and Bob simply let her do that. She didn’t wanna admit it to her, but she really missed Bob and their daily jokes and pranks on each other and an unknowing Alaska. Trixie realized how stupid she was being and apologized to her friends.

“I’m sorry guys. I didn’t even realize that I was being an asshole to everyone by doing this. I was just stuck in my head and not even thinking about anything else. I’m sorry for making things difficult.”

“I won’t say that it’s okay, but we’re your friends. We understand.” Alaska said. “You should communicate with us properly like adults the next time something like that bothers you so you won’t lash out on anybody again.” Alaska scooted closer to her and gave her a side hug.

“Yeah, Trix. I know you’re hurt, but you can talk to us. You know we’re the last people on earth that would ever judge you.” Bob added. “If you were hurt, you deserve the cool down time, but please don’t ignore us.” 

“I know,” Trixie sobbed. “I’m so sorry. I think I also have to apologize to Katya since I just stormed off without hearing her explanation.” 

“You should apologize to Jan too, Trixie. She didn’t do anything wrong and you yelled at her. She got scared!” Bob said as she handed her a box of tissues.

“Poor Jan, she was just so excited,” Alaska replied. “Bri said she looked like a puppy that got kicked when she met up with her a few days after the wedding. Jan looked really sad and Bri said it wasn’t like her.”

“Fuck, that’s right.” Trixie cringed while recalling that night. “Even though I was kinda jealous of her, she didn’t deserve that. She was so excited to meet me earlier that night, too! She said that she wanted to have their music produced by me.” 

“I don’t think you were just KINDA jealous, Trixie. That’s a full on green eyed monster attack.” Alaska laughed.

“You’re fucking crazy, Trixie,” Bob rolled her eyes fondly at her. “We should help you guys talk to each other first, and the rest will follow.”

“I’m scared. What if she hates me and doesn’t want to talk to me anymore?”

“She won’t. We also know for a fact that Katya is still waiting for you to give her a chance to explain.” Bob soothed.

“Yeah, and if you want that to happen, we can help you set it up. Or if you feel scared and uncomfortable, we can take on it. Whatever you need, we’ll be here.” Alaska said, soothing her back.

“I actually have an idea,” Bob said. “Are you game?”

Trixie nodded and the three of them went to plan her meet up with Katya. At this point, she just wants them to be back to normal again. Maybe not normal, but at least back to being friends again. They have a lot of time to sort things out, and all they need is to reconcile.

***

**Baldy Velvet (Sasha)**

_ Hi Katya, I’m here  _

**Katya Zamo**

_ Okay! Just need to find a good parking space _

_ Be there in a few _

Trixie looked up at Sasha who was sitting right in front of her. “Are you sure this will work, Sasha?” 

“Of course it will,” Sasha said proudly. “She can never say no to the Italian food here. I also told her that I was paying for her meal, so she gladly hurried.”

“Okay, I trust you.” Trixie said a bit hesitantly. “Is Katya a child, though? She’s so excited for food.”

“To be fair, Katya is heavily influenced by food. Also, you know how she introduced me to Shea, right?” Trixie nodded. “I literally got baited by the ‘I’m sick’ excuse. She’ll live, you’ll live, and we’re even. It’s for the best.” Sasha smiled.

“I know you’ll be fine. Don’t be nervous, she’s really waiting for you to talk to her. I also understand that you feel shy because you can’t face her after lashing out on her, so that’s why we did this.” Sasha squeezed her hand. “You’ll be fine. At least we didn’t let Brianna give you a makeover to look like her, right? Props to Bob and Alaska for thinking about that, though. Might work in a different scenario.” They both chuckled at the absurdity of that idea. She didn’t mind, though. I guess their minds really work wildly when high.

As if on cue, Sasha gestures to her that Katya’s fast approaching so she needs to get up and greet her. Trixie can feel her heart beating in her throat and her stomach is doing backflips.  _ You can do this,  _ she tells herself.  _ Let’s get Katya back. _

***

Katya was surprised to see Trixie in front of her. Like really surprised.

She thought she was mad at her and didn’t want to talk to her because she didn’t exactly return anything for the past two weeks. In her mind, she wanted to be mad at her, or be annoyed at her presence, because hello, Trixie literally ignored her and went AWOL on her, so why would she expect to be greeted with a warm hello, a hug, and an “I miss you” from her? 

Well to be fair,  _ she did really miss her. _

“Alright, I have to go now.” Sasha tells them both and seats Katya on the opposite chair beside Trixie. “You’ll thank me for this someday.” She winks at Katya and squeezes her shoulder. Katya couldn’t help but snort.

Once her bald friend left, she greeted Trixie with a tight smile and looked at the menu. She didn’t know the best approach when it comes to handling a recently mad Trixie, but then she thought that maybe she isn’t mad at her anymore because she didn’t storm off. It’s a good sign, right?

When she looked up, she noticed that Trixie was looking at her and abruptly looking away. Katya thinks she’s trying her best to stop herself from laughing, but she was kind of failing at it. Trixie then set her menu down and leaned in a bit towards her.

“I’m sorry for being an asshole, Katya.” Trixie said timidly.

“What?” 

“I said I’m sorry for being an asshole to you.” She looked at Katya with so much sincerity in her eyes. 

“I’m sorry for hurting you, Trix.” She replied. “Whatever I did must be really bad, and I promise to never do it again if you told me.”

Trixie held out her hands for Katya to hold and she held them tightly. She was sure she didn’t want to let her go, but that might be for another day.

“You didn’t. I was drunk, so that means dramatic Trixie has arrived.” Katya started laughing at her. “Why are you laughing? We aren’t friends again yet!” Trixie said, annoyed. She tried loosening her grip from Katya, but Katya held her hands even tighter.

“You’re always dramatic, Trix. That’s part of your charm.” Katya wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and booped Trixie’s nose. “Go on, I’ll let you explain. Stop pouting.” 

“As I was saying after you rudely interrupted me,” Trixie rolled her eyes and her face softened. “I’m sorry that I was irrational. I was dramatic, and I quickly assumed that youandJanwereanitemandyouwerelyingtome.” 

“What did you say? I didn’t catch that.” 

“I said, I thought youandJanwereanitemandyouwerelyingtome.” She mumbled. 

“Trix, what?”

Trixie’s cheeks turned beet red. “I said, I quickly assumed that you and Jan were an item and you were lying to me. I got jealous of Jan because one, she was wearing your suit jacket, two, you were touchy, three, she called you babe, and four, she’s pretty, blonde, and talented.” 

Katya was stunned by Trixie’s honesty. She was floored.  _ So that’s why Trixie’s upset _ . Katya thought.  _ She felt insecure of Jan and she needed assurance. Why didn’t she just tell her in the first place? All of this could have been avoided if they just talked earlier. They would have resolved it much quicker.  _

“Trix, you gotta listen to me, okay?” Trixie nodded in agreement. 

“One, she wore that because there was some drunk person who bumped into her who spilled her drink all over her dress. Rosé and Lagoona didn’t have any spare clothes to lend her, so when I saw her, I asked for a clean towel for her to dry herself off and let her borrow my suit jacket. It was freezing cold outside and their ride wasn’t there yet, so I had to help her. Two, we were touchy because I was showing her all the tattoos I got from her friend Crystal who happens to be my tattoo artist. Three, Jan’s really sweet and calls everyone either gorg, babe, diva, or doll. Did you hear me call her babe back? I don’t think so. Lastly, you’re a pretty, talented, blonde woman too. Kinda dramatic and does cardio by jumping into conclusions, but that’s okay. Nobody’s perfect, but no one else compares to you. Okay?”

Katya saw that Trixie’s eyes were brimming with tears, so she decided to lead her to the couch where she’s sitting and hugged her tight. As soon as they hugged, the floodgates were open and they were both crying.

“I’m sorry that I almost ruined our friendship because I’m dumb and insecure. I hope you forgive me.” Trixie said while crying.

“It’s okay, Trixie. I would have understood better if you told me, so let’s communicate better okay?” Trixie faced her and Katya gently wiped away her tears using her thumb while she nodded. “Promise me you’ll be honest about how you feel?”

“I’ll try, Katya. I promise.” Trixie sniffed.

“That’s my girl.” Katya smiled at Trixie and hugged her tight. 

  
  


The afternoon had passed and all they did was catch up on the things they’ve missed out for the past two weeks, and talked about their friends’ crazy plans to get them to finally talk to each other. Trixie mentioned that Bob and Alaska were brainstorming when they smoked and thought about letting Brianna give a makeover to Trixie as her and then Brianna making plans about meeting up, but it’s Trixie who will be showing up and she’ll apologize to her. They laughed about that idea for a good five minutes with Katya wiping the tears out of her face because she laughed too hard.

“Jesus Christ,” Katya said after steadying herself. “What kind of weed were they smoking? I think I need some of that after hearing their plans to help with the hotel’s marketing strategies.” 

“Bob wanted to do something dramatic, but Sasha said we might get hurt with the flambé-ing and stuff. I just zoned out because they were literally not helpful. It took them a while to just listen to Sasha instead, because she’s the sensible one.” 

Of course, the pair started laughing again.

“I missed this, Trixie. I miss you.” 

“I miss you too, Kat. I don’t want us to fight anymore.” Trixie pouted. 

“Me too. I saved all the memes that I couldn’t send you, btw. You want me to airdrop them to you?”

Katya doesn’t miss the way something clicked in Trixie’s mind. When she looked into her eyes, she could tell that something had changed, and it was kind of hard to tell exactly what that change was.

Trixie’s alluring brown eyes are terrifyingly honest. It tells you a lot when she doesn’t even have the right words to say. Her eyes give out all of her secrets, her fears, and the things that she loves without her even noticing it. Trixie doesn’t even know the power that her eyes hold, and how Katya would give up everything just for her not to look at her the same way she did when they fought. It was a mix of rage, hurt, jealousy, and confusion that Katya hadn’t seen anywhere before. She didn’t want her to feel that way anymore. She only wants to look at her eyes in the same way as when she finds the perfect pink lipstick, or when she gets served her favorite food at the restaurant, or when she finally learns the song she’s been practicing for a few days already.

Katya quickly realizes the truth about how she really feels about Trixie.

_ Oh. _

Katya’s fucked.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	6. you could be my one and only

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trixie wanted to ask if these dates are just friendly dates, but she was too scared and she didn’t want to assume. She knew there was something different about the way Katya has been acting around her, but she just shrugs off the possibility that Katya might be into her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!
> 
> Thank you so much for all the wonderful comments and kudos that you left on my work!! I appreciate you guys so much!! <3 I’ve written this chapter on three different occasions because writer’s block is real and I am really proud of myself for finishing it on the third try lol 
> 
> Side note: Trixie has anxiety and overthinks a lot, so I hope you don’t mind when she literally repeats herself every time. That’s her anxious brain working!! 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!! <3

To make up for lost time, Trixie and Katya both promised each other that they would spend time with each other every single day. If one of them were busy, they would just have to go to wherever that person is and just sit with them while they do their work. Usually it worked, but after a couple of minutes they both couldn’t ignore each other any longer and they just completely ditch their work and just go on their “dates”.

Trixie wanted to ask if these dates are just friendly dates, but she was too scared and she didn’t want to assume. She knew there was something different about the way Katya has been acting around her, but she just shrugs off the possibility that Katya might be into her.

She doesn’t entertain the idea until one night when Katya had to go to a business meeting in California, and she had Alaska over her apartment because date night was canceled. Katya told her she’ll Facetime her when she lands. Trixie doesn’t want to admit it, but she was disappointed because tonight was supposed to be karaoke night.

“Don’t be dramatic, Trixie. She’ll be back on Friday.” Alaska said while opening the boxes of Chinese food they ordered. The comforting smell of takeout lingered in her apartment, and she almost forgot about why she was so sad in the first place.

“I know, but this is the first time in months that we’re going to be apart for such a long period of time,” Trixie sighed. “I know three days isn’t that long for you, but I just feel like we’re getting closer because we’re spending a lot of time with each other.” She said while handing a plate to Alaska.

“Three days isn’t long. You didn’t talk to her for two weeks because you were jealous of Jan.” she placed the plate on the coffee table. “You know what this means, right?”

“What?”

“You just don’t want to admit that you like her.” Alaska teased.

“I do like her, but not in the way that you’re thinking.” Trixie said defensively.

Alaska hummed. “Right. Your face is betraying you though.”

Trixie took a huge bite of her chow mein and just rolled her eyes at Alaska. 

“Are you  _ sure _ you guys aren’t dating and that you’re just friends?” 

“I’m sure and we’re just friends. We just like hanging out.” Trixie replied. “I can hang out with anyone for long periods of time and not date them.”

“See, that’s the thing,” Alaska put down her plate and faced Trixie completely. “You hang out with us, but there’s no different energy going on. When we go on business or out of town trips, you’re never that clingy. Don’t get me started with the way you look at her. It’s not the same way you look at any of your other friends.”

Trixie didn’t want her feelings to be explained to her by her friend, but she really thinks she’s dumb when Alaska tells it like it is. It dawned on her that she really likes Katya more than a friend, and that she wants their friendship to become so much more than that. Trixie wants to be the person that Katya wakes up to every morning and the last person she sees when she goes to bed. She also wants to be there at every moment in Katya’s life, celebrating her triumphs and comforting her when times get rough. She wants to become a better person not just for herself, her friends, her family, or her clients, but also the person she wants to be with for the rest of her life. Realizing her feelings for her Russian friend made her scared and her fear of commitment is knocking on her door. 

Trixie sighed. “Okay fine. I like her. But I honestly don’t know what to do! My commitment issues are looking at me dead in the eye and telling me that this is a terrible idea and will be a dumpster fire before it begins.”

“Honestly, Trixie? I don’t think you have commitment issues. I just think you’re afraid of giving it your all and in the end, it will just end up hurting you.” Alaska scoots over closer to her and rubs her back. “I know liking someone new is scary, and I also know that trusting someone and committing to them is hard. But Trix, you aren’t even there yet. You haven’t even told her that you like her! Maybe you should start there and when you get into a mutual understanding you can talk about it. I’m sure Katya will understand you.”

“What if she doesn’t like me back?” Trixie worried her lip. “That would be embarrassing.”

“Bitch, I knew you were both dumb but this is a new level of dumb.” Now it was Alaska’s turn to roll her eyes. “Geez, Trixie, I’m not sure where you got that idea that she didn’t like you? Katya literally spends a lot of time with you and goes to places that YOU like. She also brings you random snacks and knickknacks when she sees something that reminds her of you. She also told me that you give her a nice feeling whenever she’s with you. Also, didn’t you notice that when you were on an “ignore Katya” phase she never gave up on you? Even if it hurt her pride that you never responded to her, she always found a way to ask you if you were okay. If she didn’t like you like that, you wouldn’t have heard from her anymore after your little outburst! You’re such a useless lesbian.”

“But what if she just does that… as a friend?” Trixie said quietly. 

“God, Trixie, you’re so dumb it’s so frustrating.” Alaska huffed in annoyance. “I’ve been friends with Katya longer than I am with you or Bob. I know Katya and she doesn’t think of you as just a friend. Also, why would I deliberately do something to potentially hurt you? Am I a bad friend? I’m just dumb and dramatic like you, but I would never lead you into something that will make you heartbroken.”

“I’m sorry.” Trixie gave Alaska a side hug. “I don’t know, I just don’t want to do anything yet because I’m not sure.”

“You want assurance from her that she likes you?” Trixie nodded on her shoulder. “Try calling her later. Just observe her and I promise you’ll get your answer. Now can we please eat and talk about my feelings now? I miss being the only dramatic one between the both of us.” Alaska whined. 

Trixie laughed at her and couldn’t imagine what would happen if Alaska Elizabeth Joanne Thunderfuck wasn’t there beside her. 

***

A few hours after Alaska had left her apartment, she decided to check on her phone — she saw five messages from Katya and a missed Facetime call. 

**From: katya katenka**

_ hiiii tracy I’m hereeee _

_ [picture of her lying down on the bed, eyes closed, and her arms raised] _

_ i miss you my sweet angel hunny bunny bun bun _

_ can i call you _

**Missed Facetime Call from katya katenka**

_ are you asleep :( _

After a few rings, Katya picked up her phone with an excited grin on her face. 

“Hi my beautiful bunny baby,” Katya greeted her. “I missed you.” 

Trixie tried her best to hide her reddening cheeks. “I missed you too, Kat. Sorry I didn’t pick up earlier, I left my phone on the kitchen counter.”

“It’s okay, I just wanted to tell you earlier that I’m already here in the hotel.” She quickly lied on her back and turned to the side. “How was your evening without me? I know it was supposed to be our karaoke night tonight.”

“It was horrible. Miserable. I didn’t know what to do without you earlier.” Trixie deadpanned and tried to stop herself from laughing. 

Katya was wheezing uncontrollably. “You rotted bitch! I knew you were happy that I was gone.” 

“I am actually so happy that we’re apart because my lungs will be cleared out of any remnants of cigarette smoke and ashes for three days.” She inhaled loudly. “I can smell my lit candle really well now.”

  
  


They laughed and chatted like there was no tomorrow when in reality, they just got separated from each other a few hours ago. Trixie and Katya have this undeniable chemistry that is very apparent to all of the people around them. They flow well into each other really well and they don't even have to pretend that they’re comfortable with each other because they really are. Everything makes sense to Trixie now and it makes her scared because everything else is just moving too quickly for her to properly catch up. For her, Katya’s full of irrepressible energy, love, and light. When she walks into a room, everyone falls in love with her and is drawn to her. Her bright eyes and her good heart sets her apart from each and every person that’s alive. The cruelty of the world never made her shut everyone out, but rather she made sure that everyone who comes in contact with her believes that there’s still good in the world.

“Oh, Trix, before I forget,” Katya jumped out of bed and rummaged through her bag. “Ta da! I bought this for you!” Katya showed her a small, pink jelly backpack that had a glitter keychain with pink fluff that looks like a small “T”. 

“I saw this on one of the shops outside of the hotel and I immediately thought, ‘Wow, I think Trixie will like this.” She smiled while putting the bag beside her face for reference. “Do you like it?”

“I like you…” Trixie's eyes widened in realization. “your taste! Your taste. I like your taste and that fits my essentials. Thank you so much!” She replied, trying to keep herself calm and collected.

Katya sat up and looked at her with scrutinizing eyes. “What?” She replied.

“You’re being extra weird today, Trixalicious. Are you alright?”

“I’m fine!” She said in haste. “I’m fine. Just a little tired, I guess. You must be tired too!” 

“I am, actually.” Katya suppressed her yawn and laid on her bed. “I just couldn’t sleep without talking to you.” 

Trixie can feel her cheeks heating up. “Alright, katenka. It’s time for bed.” She said teasingly. 

“I like it when you speak Russian. It’s so sexy.” Katya said with a sleepy grin.

“Even if I didn’t speak Russian, I’m still sexy.” Trixie winked at her and laughed.

“Your laugh is so ridiculous.”

“I know. It’s part of my charm.” Trixie went to her room and under the covers. “Good night, Katya. See you soon.”

“Good night, Trixie.” Katya turned sideways. “I hope you sleep well and I hope you know that like you too. A lot.” She smiled. “I wish you were here.”

Before Trixie got the chance to reply, Katya ended the call.

  
  


It’s gonna be a long night for Trixie for sure.

***

The next morning, Katya woke up feeling refreshed and ready for their long day today. She’s currently in California with Nastya and they’re about to meet with a few clients for a new business expansion here. She tries her best not to dread spending some time of their day with old white men in suits that are only interested in showing off their so-called “business knowledge” that only hurt their own businesses and now are trying to convince the Zamolodchikovas to sell some of their stocks to them. Nastya fully believes that it will be very interesting since one of those men used to be Katya’s professor’s ex-husband.

“Hey Katya, I brought you overnight oats!” Nastya greeted her happily while going inside of her room. “We need a nice breakfast for all the business-y things we’re about to do later.” 

“Thank you Nats,” she replied with a smile. “Oh god, don’t remind me about our itinerary for today. I feel miserable already.” 

Nastya rolled her eyes. “Don’t be dramatic,  _ sestra _ . You can leave everything to me today. You’ll just be beside me, observing and judging people in your mind.”

“Wow, Anastasia, you’re growing up so fast!” Katya said fondly and pinched her little sister’s cheek. “I’m so proud of you!” 

“You’re proud of me because you’re gonna be off the hook from managing the business and become an artist again when I take over soon.” Nastya pouted while rubbing her left cheek. “You owe me a huge painting for Perestroika NYC.” 

“I know, and I’ll get on it once dad says,  _ ‘Anastasia Natasha Zamolodchikova, you are the one responsible for Perestroika starting today. Thank you for helping us with everything, Yekaterina. You’re free to go and live your carefree artist life.’ _ ” She grins at her sister widely.

“Dad sounds like a principal telling a troublemaker that they’re free to go.” They both laughed at their absurdity.

The day went on like a blur and Katya was already feeling bushed even though they still had 2 meetings to go on later that evening. She was tired of wearing heels, so by the time they went out for dinner, she switched her heels for her favorite chunky slides. It’s already 5 pm and she didn’t care anymore about her look. She just wanted to go to McDonald’s and eat her dinner in peace. Nastya decided to order takeout for them to eat in Katya’s room, so they have 2 hours to spare before they attend some more meetings again. 

“Who are you texting?” Nastya said as she looked over her sister’s shoulder. “Who’s hunny bunny?” She hovered closer to Katya’s phone and leaned on her back. Katya pushed her sister off her back and tickled her side. “Not fair! You never keep secrets from me!” She said while laughing. As soon as Katya stopped tickling her, she laid on the bed, trying to catch her breath from all of the laughing and screaming they did. 

“It’s Trixie,” she replied after a while. “I like her a lot.”

“But does she know you call her hunny bunny in private?” Her sister teased her. “Just kidding, Katya. Does she make you happy?”

Katya smiled at her sister. “She does, actually. Do you remember those cookies that babushka makes for us every year for our birthday?” Her sister nods. “She’s like that to me because she’s THAT special. It’s like the universe took cotton candy, sunshine, rainbows, and all of the good things in life with a splash of dry humor, wit, and a whole lot of passion to make this perfect human being. She doesn’t give me butterflies, though. She makes me feel calm and safe. She’s also very dramatic and bratty, though. I think that’s part of her charm.” She flashes her sister with a dreamy smile. 

Nastya looks at her knowingly. “I’m happy for you. You deserve that after the shit Caitlin put you through last time. I have a good feeling about Trixie and I can’t wait to meet her so that we could make fun of you.” She hugged her sister tightly. Katya shed a few tears of joy from her sister’s earnest little monologue, but she didn’t want her to get teased when she gets to see Trixie for the first time so she quickly wiped them off with her sleeve. She can’t wait for them to meet and get along soon. For now, they have to conquer business things. 

***

Trixie’s day had been eventful to say the least. She attended three recordings, helped out with the final mixes of Stephanie’s Child’s debut single ( _ oh yeah, she’s now friends with Jan _ ), and made new arrangements for Adore, who was planning to release her new album. She liked the feeling of being busy, but she doesn’t want to admit that she likes it even more now that someone’s waiting for her at the end of the day in the form of her best friend.

“Hey gorg, do you wanna grab a quick bite later? I’ve been craving for Thai food since last night.” Jan said while fixing her bag. 

“Sure! I know a good Thai place three blocks from here. I love their vegetarian curry so much. I’ll buy you mango sticky rice.” She replied excitedly.

Once they arrived at the restaurant and ordered their food, Jan noticed that Trixie’s been kind of in a smiley mood lately. 

“Why do I have this weird feeling that you’re currently texting Katya?” Jan said out of the blue. This made her look up from her phone and raise her eyebrows at her friend.

“Janessa, have I ever told you that you’re not wrong?” Trixie said teasingly. “I am, but that’s not the reason why I’m in a good mood today.”

“I never said that you’re in a good mood.” The purple haired woman tried hard to stop herself from laughing. “The whole acting nonchalant thing when we’re talking about Katya is getting lame now.”

“Oh shut up, Jan. I know you’re like this too when we talk about Jackie.” 

Jan scoffed. “Nope! Unlike you, I own up to the fact that I am very much in love with Jacqueline and that’s something you’re not doing re: your feelings for Katya. Why are you even afraid of owning your feelings, anyway? It’s very clear that she’s also in love with you. I swear, you guys are so blind.” 

“I would love to entertain the idea that Katya has romantic feelings for me as well, but she’s kind of hard to read.” Trixie replied.

“HARD TO READ?” Jan raised her voice, making Trixie flinch with her volume. “She literally has heart eyes for you, babe! What the fuck?” 

“Okay, fine. I know she’s kind of sending me some type of signal, but I don’t like signals. I want her to tell me that she likes me instead of me fending for myself here.” 

“Why don’t you ask her? That’s the most obvious way to go.”

“I just don’t want to open the possibility of me getting rejected by her because that would hurt and that would be really embarrassing.” Trixie said quietly. “Aside from the feelings that I have for her that I don’t want to not be reciprocated, she’s my best friend, Jan. I have so much to lose if I don’t plan everything ahead.” 

Jan’s face softened and took her friend’s hand. “I get how you feel babe, but as cliché as it sounds, you gotta take a big risk to have big returns.” 

“I’m just scared of getting hurt. I know that I’m like a broken record with this, but it’ll be a double whammy when she doesn’t like me like that.” 

“I understand,” Jan squeezed her hand. “I just wanna tell you about how I used to feel that way when me and Jacks were just starting to realize our feelings for each other. She’s been my best friend since we were four and everything was going swell until her parents told her that she’ll be engaged to her dad’s friend and she couldn’t do anything about it.” 

“Oh my gosh, I didn’t know that!” Trixie put her hand on her mouth in shock.

“I know, wild right? Anyway, she wasn’t out yet and we were figuring out how to get her out of that situation. I was the only person aside from Crystal that knows about her real identity and we didn’t want to do anything that would cause more harm than good. She told me she wanted to come out to her parents so that they would disown her instead of them marrying her off to someone. I told her that that was a very stupid idea because we don’t know what would happen next, but she stood her ground and did it anyway.” 

“Oh wow. Jackie’s fucking brave.” 

Jan nodded in agreement. “The bravest person I know. She came out to her parents with me by her side, and I was shocked when she looked them in the eye and said her piece. Her parents were mad and kicked her out for obvious reasons and she had to stay with me that night. When I asked her where her courage came from, she told me it was from loving me.” She wiped a stray tear that fell down her cheek. “I know that’s the most dramatic thing to ever happen to the both of us, and it also sounds very telenovela-ish, but she told me that loving me opened doors for her. I’m not telling you to get disowned by your family, but I’m just telling you to take a leap of faith. Maybe it will pay off. You always tell me that Katya makes you happy, so maybe this will be your chance to make her happy and also be honest with yourself.” 

Trixie couldn’t help but hug her purple haired friend. She feels overwhelmed with emotions and she also is in awe of all the things that Jackie and Jan have been through. They didn’t exactly have a walk in the park, but they made it work and really fought for the position that they’re in now.

“It’s worth it, though. A few years later, she asked me to be her wife.” Jan showed her heart cut diamond ring that was surrounded by smaller pink diamonds. “Please be inspired to take the leap of faith! If Jackie didn’t do that, she would have been married to that guy.” 

“Knowing you, Jan? You would have stolen the scene from her and came out to her parents yourself and you would’ve also said a lengthy monologue about you being absolutely in love with their daughter.” Trixie cackled.

They spent the rest of the night gossiping and looking for wedding inspirations on Pinterest. By the end of their little hang out, Trixie could feel her heart swell from emotion and she’s filled with a newfound respect for Jan. As she was preparing to go to bed, she received a few texts from Katya.

**From: katya katenka**

_ see you tomorrow trix _

_ I can’t wait to see you _

**From: hunny bunny**

_ ME TOO 💖  _

_ do you want me to pick you up at the airport? _

**From: katya katenka**

_ OF COURSE  _

_ I AM SO EXCITED TO SEE YOU MY BUNNY _

_ MY SWEET ANGEL _

_ MY BABY _

_ MY BEST FRIEND  _

**From: hunny bunny**

_ someone’s clingy 🥺😍 _

_ talk to you later oldie _

_ just need to finish my skincare routine _

**From: katya katenka**

_ Facetime later, my divalicious Trixalicious? _

**From: hunny bunny**

_ yeah of course!! <3 _

***

“Look! Look at these texts she sent me!” Trixie showed her phone to Shea and Kim, looking panicked. “Is this even real?” Shea and Kim looked at each other and rolled their eyes at Trixie. 

“I mean, Kim is my friend and she doesn’t call me bunny, sweet angel, or baby.” Shea said jokingly. “She clearly likes you, Trix.”

Kim nodded in agreement. “Yeah, it’s kinda obvious. She literally told you that she likes you already. Besides, nobody thinks you’re an angel aside from Katya.” 

Trixie pushed her friend playfully. “Well what should I do when we see each other tonight? Should I buy her flowers?” 

“You can do that! We should ask Sasha what flowers are Katya’s favorite. I’m sure she knows.” Shea replied while texting her wife. 

“Trixie, don’t be nervous. I’m sure Katya will appreciate whatever you decide to give her, or lack thereof. I mean, she’s clearly super into you that’s why she got excited when you asked her if she wants to be picked up at the airport.”

“I know, Kim.” Trixie replied. “I just wanna make the _“I think I’m falling for my best friend_ _and now I’m gonna fetch her from the airport to try to confess my feelings for her”_ thing perfect.” 

“I think that your feelings are more important than the logistics of your plan.” 

“I agree.” Shea interrupted. “She won’t remember what you got her, but she’ll remember how you made her feel that day.”

Trixie released a breath that she didn’t know she was even holding. “I love you guys. Thank you for knocking some sense into me.”

“No worries,” Shea smiled. “We got you always. Also, Sasha told me that you should give her pink flowers. She told me it’s something about deepening feelings for someone in Russian flower culture so…” She raised her eyebrows suggestively.

“I think what she needs to do is to practice her mini speech about her feelings for Miss Katya.” Kim interjected. “I know you and you’re gonna be a nervous wreck when she does something huge like this.” 

Trixie squirmed in her seat. “Yeah. I know it’s Katya we’re talking about, but I just want to make it really special because if I get rejected, at least she’ll still think of me and the effort I did to make it special.” 

“Don’t worry, she won’t reject you. You know she’s head over heels for you and your anxiety is just making you overthink.” Shea replied, squeezing her hand. “I know that you guys are perfect for each other. I haven’t seen the both of you like this in a very long time and I just hope this works out.” 

“If it doesn’t work out, off to the nunnery we go.” Kim said as she gave Trixie a glass of wine. “God really said fuck the gays if that happens, but I know God won’t do that to us. He loves the gays.” 

“I love it when the residual Catholic guilt oozes from you, Kimberly.” Trixie laughed.

“Oh shut up, Trixie. You know you’re one of my kind too.” Kim teased.

  
  


***

Once Trixie secured the flowers and freshened up, she immediately started to think about what she’d say to Katya when they saw each other again. 

  
  


“Katya, I like you a lot and —“ no, too basic. 

“Katya, I want to tell you that I like you —“ meh.

“You make me so happy, Kat.” kind of decent, but not it. 

After a few failed speeches, she was already at the airport. She rushed to the arrival area, flowers in hand, and was waiting eagerly for her best friend. She looked at her watch impatiently and wondered why Katya hadn't arrived yet. She looked at the screen and saw her flight had already arrived, so that was weird. She was double checking the screenshot Katya sent her when she felt someone hug her from behind. When she turned around, she saw Katya, smiling from ear to ear. 

“Hi Trixalicious. I missed your pretty face.” She greeted her while hugging her properly and kissing her temple. 

“I missed your old ass too.” She retorted. The older woman laughed at her and proceeded to tighten her hug.

“You smell nice. You changed your shampoo?” Trixie nodded. “This scent suits you better.” This made her blush furiously. 

Once they pulled away from each other’s embrace, Trixie handed her the beautiful bouquet of pink roses adorned with pink baby’s breaths. “This is my welcome back bouquet for you.”

“Thank you, Trix!” Katya said while holding the bouquet up to her nose. “It’s so beautiful.” Trixie keened at her praise. 

  
  


Trixie decided to surprise Katya with a home cooked dinner at her apartment. They were supposed to stop by Katya’s first, but the older blonde decided to spend the night at Trixie’s place since she hasn’t been there in a while. Of course Trixie would always say yes to that because aside from the fact that she likes her, Katya always makes the best pancakes for breakfast whenever she comes over. 

  
  


Ever since Katya left for her work trip, she became clingier and more affectionate towards her. She wants to assume that she has feelings for her, but didn’t want to lead herself on. She knew that her best friend was really generous with affection and didn’t mind being touchy with her, but she’s overthinking everything now. Everything that Katya does makes her very hyper aware and this also makes her remember the time wherein Katya told her that she liked her too. She was deep in her thoughts when her friend decided to touch her arm. This made her jolt in surprise. 

“Katya!” Trixie exclaimed. “I almost hit my head on the exhaust fan!” 

“I just touched your arm, Trix. Why are you being so jittery?” She said while raising an eyebrow at Trixie. “Did you drink that nitro cold brew I left in the fridge? I knew you weren’t supposed to be left with strong coffee.” 

“I wanna ask you something really quickly.” She said as she led Katya to sit on one of the island chairs. “Promise me you’re not going to be weirded out?” She extended her pinky finger.

Katya immediately linked their pinkies together. “I promise. What do you wanna ask me?” 

_ Here goes nothing.  _

“Do you like me, Katya?” 

“Of course I do.” Katya replied quickly. “Haven’t I made it clear yet?”

“No,” Trixie scooted closer to Katya. “Like, do you like me more than a friend?” 

Katya looked at her, clearly stunned. “Trixie, what—“

“I’m sorry for ruining our friendship by asking that. I know it was weird for me to assume that you liked me more than a friend,” Trixie rambled on, completely cutting off Katya. “I mean, who wouldn’t think that when you spend time with me a lot, come over to my house, eat dinner with me, go on dates with me that are seriously not that friendly to me at all, and you call me baby and bunny and all these cute pet names. I also didn’t mean to give meaning to all of those looks you give me, or those random moments where you hug me a little too tight, Katya—“ 

The next thing she knew, Katya was kissing her. 

She tried to object and wanted to push her off because she was shocked, but she couldn’t do it because she already melted into the kiss. Katya’s lips are soft against hers and her kisses are warm and loving. She’s kissing Trixie like her life depended on it, and the younger blonde eagerly reciprocated the kiss. She couldn’t help but place her arms around Katya’s shoulders, holding her like she was afraid to let go. 

“Trixie Mattel, I am incredibly in love with you.” Katya said after she broke off the kiss. 

“Excuse me?” 

“I love you, Trixie. I am deeply in love with you.” She said while caressing her cheek. “I’m sorry it took quite a bit to realize it, but I’m very sure that I am. You are an amazing, incredible, smart, funny, beautiful woman and I am in awe of you every single time. I used to be so afraid of the thought of being in love with someone else after all the shit I’ve been through, but fuck, Trixie, you make loving so easy. I never knew that falling in love was this easy until I met you. How couldn’t I love you? You are so fucking lovable even on your worst days.” 

They kissed again, but this time it’s slow, but full of fervor. Katya really wanted to show Trixie how much she loved her and how she’s so taken by her. The intensity of her feelings towards her best friend scares Katya a bit, but she’s willing to ignore her fear because she knows that she doesn’t want to let her go. She knows that Trixie is a once in a lifetime kind of woman, and she’s thankful to the universe because she met her one fateful day.

“Katya,” Trixie said as she pulled away from their kiss. “Stop, please.” 

Katya looked at her, concern evident in her eyes. “Why? What’s wrong?” 

“I couldn’t breathe because my heart’s beating too fast.” She replied as she placed her hand on her chest. “Don’t worry, your breath is fine and you’re a good kisser.” She winked.

“You’re so annoying.” Katya rolled her eyes at her.

“Am I?” The younger smiled at her and gave her a peck. “You love me anyway.” 

“I do.” Katya smiled at her.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think!! <3


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